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Monday, August 16, 2010

Complete Fucking Chaos

- Someone really needs to make a horror movie where none of the main characters do the same dumb shit they usually do.

- Never go outside in your p.j's unless they are similar to gym clothes.

-  Lay in the pool while it rains. If its thundering, just stay inside.

- Don't think for one second you "own" someone.

- Go to the gym or something! Get up and get out, work those muscles!

- Stop speaking like you're from the hood. If you know someone that speaks like that, don't hesitate to correct them, or act like they are speaking a foreign language.

- Its "DEAF" not  "DEATH". Deaf means someone who cannot hear. Death is the event for someone/thing dying. Get it right or get it tight.

- If you smoke, just stop. Its so disgusting and terribly bad for you and me and i've been nothing but nice to you.

- Don't do drugs. I till this day havnt heard a single positive thing thats happened to someone who's actively on drugs.

- Learn to get some motivation for something. I don't care what it is, just find it and keep it. Real turn off for someone to not have goals.

- Read a zombie handbook.

- I know that this goes with out saying but just so were clear, ITS TOTALLY NOT COOL TO CHEAT, ever. never do it, just don't. I know that this can get boring at times, but don't forget that i'm the best thing you will ever have and you don't want to fuck that up because some cum rag will spread her legs in an instant for you. People like that usually have aids.

- Shave. For girls this means everything but your head and arms because thats just weird! when you hold someone then it feels like sand paper! For guys: Leave the beard if you can grow it. In some cases, even massive beards are okay if you are a clean guy. If not, shave. Shave everything but your arms, head of hair if you don't have a receding hairline, legs and armpits. I know some guys shave their armpits but it makes me feel like you are less of a man. So just leave it, I promise its not gross for us.

- Hey, remember me? Yeah you were totally into me like last week and now I don't exist? YEAH DON'T DO THAT! if you don't like me anymore for what ever reason just tell me so I don't continue to make myself look like a desperate idiot.

- Only the following are true: Harder Better Faster Stronger.

- That little red flag that you feel waving when something isnt right? Learn to follow it. 9 times out of 10 your red flag is right.

- Be a man. That means no deathly fear of bugs, learn to fix things and use an axe/gun, learn to kick some ass and talk back to other assholes. Own(PWN) your manhood. (psh noob)

- Um, yeah don't drunk dial me, or anyone. Does anyone like being drunk dialed ever? Don't drive drunk either, bad form.

- Ladies, take one for the team. I know you know what i'm talking about.

- Love your body, it's the only one you will ever have.

- Hold someone when they are crying, don't awkwardly rub there back or say its gonna be okay. Just hold them, and tell them you love them.

11 comments:

  1. This made me LoL in my kitchen when I read it :D!

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  2. thanks! you should come back for more! i love the comments!

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  3. Please elaborate more on cheating. NOT COOL is just too vague. Cheating is our human response when we drift apart, whether we act on it or not it's merely circumnstancial. Nothing makes cheating right, but never say I will never, once you are in those shoes you will know how it feels. Mainly it's an action on selfishness and self pity. We are just human and don't learn to act on our feelings, some of us never will. As per finding motivation...it's always fear of the unknown that stops our dreams and goals. For some it's not that easy and many live in fear and silent about these self destructive mentality. Therapy in many cases can help pin point that freezing point, and help us move ahead.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. If its therapy you think you need to over come your cheating habits then I applaud you for finding you have a problem with whatever emotional issue you have, and are actively looking for help. To elaborate more on the cheating part, i'm not sure how much more clear I can get other then "DON'T DO IT" there isn't a secret meaning behind that. Its just a "No bueno" if you feel the need to be with another human being, chances are you feel it with out even had cheated yet. Then you should take it upon yourself to ask wether or not a relationship is worth saving or not. Just because you're selfish doesn't mean a selfless person should suffer. You need to be open in a relationship and learn to communicate so your partner can help with what ever it is you need to be re-assured that she/he is the one you love and want to be with.

    Shit happens, trust me I know. But if we could for one second, just think before we do something, and decide to do the right thing for once, it would make for such a much better out come.

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  6. Hey dumbass I hope that a person comes and cheats on you because obviously all you ever did is cheat like the cocksucker you are now go back to the small as hole you crawled out of and die. Have a nice fucking day asshole.And get a life please because I don't think anyone would ever want to date you after that comment and once you come to that realization you will think about all of what you did so think before you speak next time it comes in handy. ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

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  7. everyone is entitled to there own opinion and maybe one day that person will find someone who is okay with cheating? I mean there are people out there. I'm just saying that nobody should be comfortable with the fact that "cheating is a normal thing" because it isn't, and shouldn't be unless you are with someone who is on the same page as you. I understand that cheating seems to be all the rage now seeing as everyone has done it, even I have been placed with a predicament but I never acted on it and I did the right thing. Which is all anyone ever asks for.

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  8. @ the other anonymous, very mature use of cussing. I thought comments/feedback, were with the purpose of discussing opinions and challenging our own believes, convictions, points of view in subjects the author is giving. With that attitude no wonder you can't relate to people in higher mentality/plane of mind. You think you are all self righteous. Only you will know when your own life takes you there.

    @ the author. We all go through own journey in which we carry our life experiences and find it therapeutic to share thoughts with others. As stated above, you know by your own education and formation what is right or wrong. A lot comes into play depending how you were raised, but life will make sure to teach you the ropes. It's up to you to act on it in either direction.

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