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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Dos and Don'ts for sex Vol.1

- The most important thing you will need to take from this is to ALWAYS use a condom. Just incase you didn't know already, birth control only controls BIRTH not STDs.
- There is a difference between making love and fucking. Both are good, but neither are to be the only kind of love making going on.
- Do not slap your dick on my vagina. Just because a douche bag does that in porn does not mean I like that. Which leads me to my next tidbit
- Use common sense. By that I mean, if you know your girlfriend only gets off on rubbing herself, chances are getting her from behind is not going to be as pleasurable.
- Do not feel inferior to a vibrator.
- There are three types of woman you need to know about.

  1. Gets off on rubbing the clitoris only. 
  2. Gets off on deep penetration. 
  3. Gets off on both. 
- In some cases no means yes, but don't push harder to find out, you don't want to be considered a rapist. 
- If a girl is dry as fuck down there, that usually means she isn't feeling the moment, and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Totally fine because you should know what she likes, and just make a little more effort to get her to enjoy this moment as well. 
- Don't just spit down there and think thats acceptable lubrication cause it's not. 
- Moan, make any sort of noise. Deep breathing, what eve's just as long as we know you are enjoying it. 
- Use your hands, be ambidextrous (skillful using both hands) 
- Pulling hair is totally acceptable, but if we are making love then do it lightly. If we are fucking, pulling it harder but not so hard where you are going to break my neck kthnx.
- Any sex longer then an hour will give you chafing from the inside, so just accept you both aren't going to orgasm and play some video games till a few hours. 
- Every girl has been told to always tell her current lover he is the best. I know, It's a low blow coming from me but I am telling you this for your own good. It means you might not really be that great. I am not saying you aren't I am just saying it wouldn't hurt to keep doing better things in bed. 
- Key way to know if you are the best she's ever had? You can still feel her orgasm, EACH TIME. 
- Ladies, if you are having sex on a daily basis, that means at least once every 2 days then it is time to catch up on some kegel exercises. I am not saying you are a slut or anything, it's just that, you know your favorite pair of jeans you wear like every other day, and you wait like 3 days before washing them and on the third day they always seem to fit lose? (thats when you know to wash them) Your vagina is JUST like that. 
- I am not saying there aren't girls out there that will ask for doggy style to be there first sexual position preference, but for the majority of us it is NOT. 
- Don't ever forget to say I love you during sex, unless it's a 1 night stand. but don't do 1 night stands because those are sleezy and wrong and not something you want to have on your "I did it" list. 
- If sex had become uninteresting it usually means the relationship has also become uninteresting. 
- Never be the first one to bring up anal sex. 
- Do not attempt to rub a girls clit while you are having sex, I know it sounds like a great idea but it's not. I'll tell you why, because in order for it to be a good thing, you would have to know what your are doing, which means you would have to pay attention to only rubbing that area and if you are also trying to get your self off while fucking someone that usually doesn't happen. Plus really most of the time it throws us off our game because you are doing it wrong and then makes us lose focus and... its just bad news. 
- Just because you have a big dick doesn't mean you are good in bed. 
- Just because you "hear" you are the best in bed, doesn't mean you are. 
- The best people in bed are the ones who "hope" they are. 
- Ladies if you know that you are going to get busy tonight please wash your vagina. 
- Dudes you could do us a favor by washing yourselves too. 

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