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Friday, October 29, 2010

Things are shapin up to be pretty odd...

Dos and Don'ts for tattoos, and other things that shouldn't be on or near your body.

  1. Fairies. Just don't, I haven't, till this day, seen someone who has a decent fairy or anything with fluttery wings, like no one should be getting a tattoo of butterflies unless they are a lepidopterologist. In case you don't know what that is, it is someone who devotes there LIFE to butterflies.. 
  2. Always do something that can be worked on later in an area that doesn't stretch over time.
  3. Areas such as the stomach, tits, lower back or lower side should NEVER be tattooed on.
  4. Never get someones name unless that someone is dead. It is just a bad omen. How many people do you know have a successful relationship with the person thats name is tattooed on them? NONE. why?! because thats the ultimate jynx. 
  5. Areas appropriate for men to get tattooed: chest, arms, legs, upper back or ribcage.
  6. Areas appropriate for girls to get tattooed: arms, feet, upper back and hip/upper thigh area or ribcage. 
  7. Areas not appropriate ever to get tattooed on either sex: hip bone/ above the groin area, lower back, nipples or belly button, neck, ass or face. Also, if you have the slightest idea that getting your dick or mons pubis, which is this area right here:
  8. Then you deserve to be locked in a basement somewhere.
  9. If you are a dude or a girl and you have any of the areas tattooed of the opposite sex, that is considered trashy.
  10. Never get a bands name tattooed on you, only lyrics are permitted. 
  11. If you are the type of person to "shop around for a better price" do NOT get tattooed. There is nothing I hate more for someone who is more willing to pay for a cheap tattoo then an expensive one by a good artist. This shit is going to be on your body for the rest of your life, don't be a cheap fuck. 
  12. If you are slightly over weight don't attempt to get a tattoo somewhere where you are going to want to show it off. I'm not entirely sure why some people do this, but just don't. 
  13. Never get your clit pierced. It's just trashy and why? why would you do that to yourself? 
  14. Never get your dick pierced. Just don't. I know you are thinking "fuck it looks cool just like a weird alien cock" WELL YOU ARE WEIRD! NO GIRL LIKES THAT! 
  15. Nipple piercings on girls FTW.
  16. Nipple peircings on guys, NOT ftw. 
  17. Nipple shields are sort of pointless unless you are getting it on and you are into that sort of thing. 
  18. Don't get a surface piercing. I know they are all the rage and you think people will call you cool, but you aren't, it's just a piercing that is more vulnerable then actual piercings. 
  19. Acceptable facial peircings on girls: Marilyn monroe, nose, septum, lips, cheeks or a smiley. This is all according to your facial structure, I know few people who can pull off the septum and cheek peircings, and in reality I didn't even want to make them an option but they look really cute on cubby cheeks SOMETIMES! Not acceptable? eye brow, belly button, any genital peircings, or medusa. Girls can sometimes pull of a bridge piercing but I don't recommend it. 
  20. Acceptable peircings on men: Lip, plugs, bridge. I know, not much to choose from, and I really don't recommend snake bites either for dude. It just takes away from your face and to be honest that piercing is sort of feminine? Don't do: eyebrows, nipple piercings, toung, dick piercing of any kind, belly button, nose, any other facial piercing. 
  21. Portrait tattoos are a great way to remember someone, as long as you have someone who is PHENOMENAL at portraits. By phenomenal I mean someone who could tattoo a picture, and you feel like you are IN that picture. If your tattoo artist can't do that, then DON'T get a portrait tattoo. You could end up with something like this:

  22. You should probably stay away from anything posted on the wall of a tattoo shop.
  23. If you are a dude, don't get any of the typical animal tattoos like lions, tigers or bears... or egal, or that scratching claw thing.
  24. Also, stay the FUCK away from tribal. If you see someone getting a tribal tattoo, punch them in the back of the head. 
  25. Take care of your tattoos you fuck head! They are there for life! If you don't moisturize and wear sunblock on a daily basis you are going to look terrible in a very short period of time. 
  26. Don't be the douche that automatically rolls up his sleeves because he has a weird mixture of nightmare before christmas tattoos, a funky lookin bird he thinks is the shit, and a hot girl is walking into the room. YOU = TOOL. 
this reminds me of this episode in family guy 

I realize that not everyone is going to agree with what I have to say, not everyone is going to like the tattoos I have and I am totally okay with that, but if I can save one soul from making a simple mistake, then I have done my job. What are types of tattoos you don't like? Care to share? POST A COMMENT! and let me know! 


  1. I don't like trible and I don't like any that aren't original, like you said, off the wall in the shop. And one of my own peeves is,I don't like a lot of color on really dark skin. I don't like big, dark colord, blochy tattoos either, they make me feel like I can't see what the persons skin looks like under the tattoo haha :P I think tattoos that are just the outlines are really cool too :)

  2. I think chest and neck tattoos are fine on women, as long as it is feminine and well done. I like mine at least :D

  3. thanks for suggestions given . tattoos designs must be handled with care .