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Monday, November 15, 2010

God sometimes I just want to smack the smile off of your face.

Welcome back to another wonderful entry of things you should know but don't seem to think they are worth following or mentioning or doing because you're a lazy asshole

- Don't get involved in an abusive relationship. It's just bad news and not to be sexist or anything but people tend to believe anything a woman says. So dudes, I don't care if you want to rip her ovaries out, just walk away.
- I don't give a fuck if your house burnt down last night (okay I do, but..), if you chose to come to work the next day then you better act like its the best day of your life. No body wants some jerk off to ruin their lovely morning.
- No girl wants some dude who can't hold his own, or even partially hold his own. You better have some sort of goals and aspirations because if not then you are a pathetic human being and a waste of space on this planet and by goals/aspirations I don't mean dreams of being in a famous band.
- If there is someone who frequently gives you a friendly face every time you see them, this holiday you should bring them some baked cookies or something nice to repay them for being that one good thing in your day. Why? because it pays to be nice to other people, and no good deed goes unnoticed.
- Excuse me but why is it all of a sudden okay for 15 year olds to have kids? It can't be just because MTV glamorizes it (if you even want to call it glamorize) then more people would be in jail because I see TLC doing tv shows all the time on state penitentiaries. Just so you know babies don't COME with a small fortune. Love is NOT all you need because love doesn't buy food and clothing dumbasses.
- I laugh in the face of danger.
- Who ever told you, you aren't the source of your mistakes lied to you. That person is a liar and shouldn't be practicing medicine.
- If someone doesn't pick up the first 2 times you call their number, chances are they wont pick up the next 50 times you call in a row. LEAVE A FUCKING MESSAGE. Oh, you are dying? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME! CALL 911, ASSHOLE!
- Never tell someone "this is how I know you are lying" Why? because then said person will learn how to lie correctly and that is a no bueno.
- I wanna know why when someone is nice to us, we automatically act like they are child molesters or serial killers. We think "somethings wrong with this situation right here, no one is THAT nice, they must be on drugs." I would like to think next time a nice person approaches me, I would feel grateful for that, and not automatically threatened.
- Don't say shit like "I have the worst luck" No you don't you just make really poor decisions too quickly with out giving an ounce of thought to any life situation.
- Why do dudes feel the need to always win at wrestling? Even if its play wrestling they can never lose. Its like they fear a black whole will open up and suck them straight to where ash went in army of darkness.

- How come you never see a cop pull another cop over for doing some illegal turn or going too fast. Every time I see a cop they are always going like 30 mph faster then me! Why is he in such a hurry? He can't always be needing to pee or his wife can't always be in labor. He is just like me! Why can't you pull him over?
- Listen, you get what you deserve. So when something REALLY shitty happens, take the time to reflect on something you did that may have not been so nice and ask for forgiveness.
- Don't rely on anything! seriously, DON'T. Nothing lasts for ever, and you can never trust anyone but yourself.

Check out my flickr for more pictures I took this weekend of Paul Snyder 


  1. They're, their, and there. They sound the same but are spelled differently. Maybe you know the difference but lack outstanding proofreading skills, idk.

  2. Be nice Mr/Ms anonymous. Good reads emily! Great pictures!

  3. haha thanks selena, and no I really do lack in proof reading skills, I just get so excited to post what I'm going to write that I post a.s.a.p and then proof read. At least its understandable. Imagine If I WrOtE lIkE tHiS tHe wHOle TiMe.