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Friday, November 5, 2010

If you know how to out run a car...

How to be the most awesomest girlfriend in the entire universe:  

  1. Throw away your nasty tampons, SERIOUSLY no dude wants to see that shit. No dudes want to hear about it. I'm pretty sure guys actually block that whole fact about woman out of there mind and the only time they remember is when you bring it up. SO DON'T! It's personal! and it only needs to be known when you are about to have intercourse. 
  2. Clean up! no really, most guys just aren't clean guys which is acceptable because its a "guy thing" but its most definitely NOT a girl thing. Ever heard the saying "two wrongs don't make a right?" Just like two dirty people don't equal clean people. It equals very big mess. 
  3. Have at least 3 matching bra and underwear ensembles along with some other secret outfits that are not need to be known on the internet. 
  4. Drama? If you have it, get rid of it. You are such a downer with it. Best thing you could do when you are faced with a dramatic situation? IGNORE IT. Dude will look at you like you just did a magic trick. 
  5. Enjoy what he enjoys. I mean REALLY enjoy it and don't fake it either. If he really likes playing the flute, then you better love the flute. If he loves hardcore blast beats then you better be able to decipher what the singer is saying. 
  6. Even if you don't agree with what he has to say, you always stick up for him. 
  7. Don't try and make him into your very own protege.
  8. Respect personal space. 
  9. Cook. Seriously, if you don't know how, almost everything comes with directions so you don't have to try very hard. 
  10. Don't snoop! and if you must do NOT make a habit of it, it will ruin everything! 
  11. Surprise him the best electronic gifts. You know all that cute shit you really like? like notes on the pillow or flowers? Well really awesome gifts are the equivalent to that for guys.
  12. SEX. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 
  13. Get dirty. That's right, you can take that how ever you like ;-) 
  14. Secretly learn to drive stick.
  15. His friends should think you are a God among woman, not only because you are hot, but because you are everything and more in this entry.

1 comment:

  1. Out of the 15 items listed, if I could find one that can understand 5, 6 and 7 would be an amazing feat! Great post ^_^