- Apparently if facebook says "its national jump off a bridge week" then you should post a picture of yourself plunging to your death. Seriously? how about you just get real Facebook. Damn you are starting to be just like that poser kid no one liked in high school.
- If you liked it, you shouldeve put a ring on it.
- Never, and I mean NEVER snap your fingers at me, or anyone for that matter unless you are intentionally trying to make them feel like some sort of animal/obedient dog that no one likes in the family but still seems to love you/want your attention. I would rather you scream "HEY!" then snap your fingers at me. UGH!
- Lets not punish the medical office for your tardiness shall we?
- Also, don't be that asshole that comes in a minute before or even after closing time. We hate you and you should know that.
- When I am giving you a blow job, try not to choke me? If I am dead, how can I ever "suck it" again?
- You can't possibly have the answer to everything so either you like the sound of your own voice or you can't stand the lull in your own conversations. I really don't think its the latter. So hey, I know what you are up to, you can go fuck yourself kthnxbai
- Maybe this is just a Miami thing but Don't try giving your demo cd of your terrible rapping skills in the middle of an intersection right by a sedanos (really cheap Spanish grocery store) and payless shoe store. It's bad demographics dude. Seriously.
- Don't get dressed in the dark. It does not look the same in the light.
- Handmade gifts are a million times cooler then store bought gifts.
- If you are planning on going out anywhere please take a shower. There is nothing worse then smelling some dudes B.O and oh you have it. I wonder sometimes if these people who do have this God awful smell going on even know it.
They should right? Would it be bad if I told them? Rude? I find it more offensive/rude just to have to stand there and smell it. So... yeah.
- Your appearance is everything. In other words, if you dress like a fake person. You probably are. If you dress like a slut, You probably are. Just sayin.
- Don't be pissed off at me because I came up with a better idea before you did.
- If you feel yourself getting sucked into an Info-mercial GTFO. seriously cut the channel to discovery because NONE of that shit works. If it did, they would sell it at a regular store, not on t.v and definitely not half priced.
-You know that saying "if you break a mirror that's 7 years bad luck" well if you run over an animal that's like "forever years bad luck" so don't do it. Imagine how cool you will look when you get to heaven after swerving off a cliff for not hitting a dog. God will be like "aww what a nice thing you did, lets hang and catch up on some walking dead" (cause in my mind, God is a zombie lover too)
- If you are a girl and you have a dirty apartment/home you are no longer allowed to talk to anyone till you get back in the kitchen and clean it. Who the fuck throws away perfectly good dishes (REAL FUCKING DISHES) just because they are too lazy to wash them. I know who, and THAT is why we are NOT friends. :)
Stay tuned tomorrow for some relationship tidbits! <3
Also how awesome is Adriana for doing some more awesome headers for me?!