Wonder if jake jake can't handle that...

Guess what you should do? Take some sexy photos for your boyfriend. What kind? 

These kind: 

seen here

 How not to be sexy?

If you are thinking about taking a sexy photo for the one you love, hit me up! I love doing them!

You know what would be a good idea? to make a video game on how to fuck really well. Just like all the new dance ones they are coming out with? Come on! that would make a lot of money! 

Hey guess what? 

The ever-elusive G-spot actually has a biological basis. It’s a slightly raised, 1cm patch along the vagina’s front wall that’s cellularly unique. According to Women’s Bodies: A User’s Manual by Kerry Rogers (Two Dogs) these cells are in fact similarly structured to those in the male prostate gland. When stimulated, the blood vessels and tissue in the spot swell, doubling in size. If you’re not aroused, stroking this area can feel like you have a full bladder, but if it’s touched correctly, it can be the source of the va-va-voom vaginal orgasm. If your man is grappling with your G-spot, experts at the Kinsey Institute say that pressing on the woman’s lower abdomen while seeking this precious point may make it easier to locate.

also

The word “clitoris” is derived from the Greek word for “little hill”. But this deceptively small bump contains 8 000 nerve endings and can swell to the size of a marble when you’re turned on. Plus, the clitoris gives the penis a run for its money, because these two structures develop from the same batch of foetal cells.

- The smallest penis in the world was 1cm long so all that worry about having a small penis is pointless! Embrace your dick! seriously! More people who enjoy there bodies are going to experience sex at a much more pleasurable level. Also the penis, while it is not erect at an average is only 3.5 inches. The average penis size while erect is only 5.1 inches. Women like dudes who love their cock! So love it! love it everyday (I already know you do ;-) 

Ladies! video yourself dancing all cute in your underwear and send it to your boyfriends phone. It will be totally cute!

What is something you have done that is special/sexy for someone? 

Take me away...

welcome back to another edition of "Things you should know monday are just too tired to deal with"

- First off, let me just tell you the car is an amazing place to do your eyebrows. On that note make sure there are always tweezers in your car or purse.

- I am convinced my coffee maker hates me. IT ONLY MAKES COFFEE FOR MY SISTER ONLY! 

- You still have a mother/father who is living and not gone due to cancer, Your argument/tantrum is invalid. 

- Next time you hear someone say "Money doesn't bring happiness"

Please slap them in slow motion. It's greedy people who aren't happy. DICKS. 

- Getting knocked up by a guy who is "working his way up" at dairy queen means you have a really dumb way of going about doing things. Therefor you should stop reading this blog. It is probably too hard for you to understand anyways.

- Hey, look. tastefully done nudes posted publicly on the internet are totally fine! 

Like georgia! I don't care what you say, but this is real society! Get with it. She is damn hot! 

- If you carry an item around costing more then 150 dollars then you better find a way for it to be attached to your body at all times. 

- On that note, If something feels too tight you should know that that isn't a good sign. It's actually a very very bad sign. If you have huge tits, then hey! that's great! but that doesn't mean they should have a huge personality. By that I mean they shouldn't be almost falling out from under your shirt. 

- If you brag constantly about your social status, you are officially an asshole.

- If you are famous via the internet, trust me, you don't want to be proud of that. That just means people find you attractive, NOT interesting.

- If you have not yet set up voice mail for your phone, you are the sole reason for the blood vessel popping on the side of my head. What are you doing that could be so much more important then missing and NEVER getting my missed calls?? hmm?? SET UP YOUR DAMN VOICE MAIL ASSHOLE! 

- How about trying to talk to me/get my number while I'm trying to run is not a good way to hook up with a me. I am in the zone dick, can't you see? 

Here is how you properly handle a car accident

1. You should probably realize that this could very well be ALL your fault. Just because it "seems" like you may have been doing the right thing doesn't mean you were.
2. With that being said, so what? maybe the dude that hit you was wrong but hey, he/she is hurt so it doesn't matter. That is someone's mother/father/sister/brother/bestfriend, and if they die because of your arrogance, then a whole family could be cursing you at night for the rest of their lives, and guess what that causes. Bad karma and bad karma is a fucking BITCH. 
3. After you get over that fact and finally decide to help this person/people you should push aside that this is actually an accident till the police get there. No mentioning whos fault it is, and who did what. I don't care if someone is yelling at you, that's alright because why? karma. 
4. Speak fluent, perfect english and be extremely polite to everyone including witnesses. Don't cry or use your crying baby as crutch 
5. Get EVERYONES information.
6. Sure, your car is probably ruined, but you still have your life. God saved you for some reason.

A client told me I remind her of this girl, specifically this part in the movie she was most recently in.

I laughed because, that was me in a nutshell. 

anyways, stay tuned for relationship tidbits tomorrow.

I will eat your heart.

Don't you wish your girlfriend...

My brother and his girlfriend Hannah both went to a minus the bear concert in Orlando Fl. Hannah had me do her hair before the show. Here are befores and afters.

If you told me I was going to be shopping all thanksgiving weekend I wouldeve laughed in your face. Usually because it's very unlike me to "shop". I hate it. I hate trying stuff on. I hate looking for things to put together. I just hate it. If I tell you "I'm going shopping" that means "I am stepping into this store, racing through the isles and if I just so happen to come across something I like, I may buy it. When I am done, You better be done too OR ELSE"

My mom used to take my brother and I to the thrift stores in hialeah flamingo plaza. Its basically the shopping mall of thrift stores. When I told Adriana I was going, she wanted to tag along with megan, matt and I. First, we had to pay a visit to Valerie, my hairstylist. She was working today and megan beiber needed a hair trim.

Adriana and I went to the payless near by to try on some black heels. Yum

If you would like to schedule an appointment with Mrs.Valerie herself, Call High dimension salon!

First off I want to know why people don't smile? If you come to talk to me, smile! at least pretend that you are enjoying my company. If you don't then you are a total creep! this goes with everyday life! Don't just walk into a salon and stand in the back like a weirdo! Talk! Smile! If you act like a weirdo, it makes me want to dive for that button that all the cash registers have to alert the police silently. 

 Matthew found a bin full of vintage Sun glasses but most of them were prescription glasses. It was funny to see his reaction when he put them on.

I forgot how much I missed megan. I miss her a lot. 

These were definetly my favorite find for Matt!  

 So if you must know something about me personally, I love anything having to do with owls. So yes, I bought this.

Something about the thriftstore makes me think of EVERYONES smell in one place. I could swear the mens/hombre/homme section smelt like all the old colonges mixed together, but for some reason I kept thinking "Maybe thats what my mind wants me to think"

Anyways. I came home with these: 

Anyways thanks for looking/lurking! Have you ever found anything amazing at a store or just sitting on the street? Let me know about it by posting a comment. 

Also, stay tuned for mondays "Things you should know"

And a video of Megan talking about some PRETTY personal things coming next week.

much love guys! 

BLACK FRIDAY ESCAPADE!

I just want to make something clear, this was my first year out on black friday. I usually spend the whole day in bed recovering from the enormous amount of food I consumed the night before, but I had saved a small amount of money up just to see what the big deal is about today.

Let me tell you, people make this A BIG FUCKING DEAL. This day, to some people, is the day of all days. Literally, the night before they dine on a feast fit for kings to ready themselves for this day. People are suited up in armor and ready to fight for the shit they saw first no matter who was there first, no matter if you have children stuck in strollers, no matter if you have children at all! Thats right people! I saw someone leave there child in there car while it was running, alone.

I saw T.Vs marked down, games for free (practically) and I think the most disappointing was all the winter clothes I'll never get to enjoy were all marked down at reasonable prices.

I don't give a fuck who you are, if you make the decision to step foot outside for this adventure you better prepare yourself for long lines. Don't sigh and moan and bitch about how this one lady is taking FOREVER. Bitch please of course she is, she just did all her christmas shopping in one day!

Also, you don't own the road! It's like I needed to put on an extra bumper for my car just-in-case. You don't have the right to sit and camp till a better parking space becomes available, you have to move with on coming traffic.

seriously.

Also, this isn't the day to bargain! You are already probably getting the best deal out there unless you bought it on amazon, in that case you got the better deal then us all. Also, who camps out at old navy till 5am? That's a little extreme, they have black friday deals all the time! 

I have never received the worst/best costumer service in one day ever. You know what? I expect to get bad costumer service but the good ones? I wasn't expecting that! Clearing isles for me, getting "the last one", showing me the even better deal on something that already had a great deal. This is for you hard-working-person-working-on-a-really-stressful-day

BTW thanks to you I bought:

1TB western digital external hard drive = $80

4 cute tops = $50

Speakers (for my dads computer) = $20

1 really cute dress = $20

Yeah, I really needed clothes. I've lost like 30 lbs and nothing in my closet fits me anymore. 

Black friday

I am going to do it! I am going to venture out black friday and see what this shit is all about. I had a great thanksgiving thanks to friends and family. Best part about thanksgiving is definitely the left overs. I drove to pick up my best friend megan from Ft.Lauderdale, I've missed her so much.