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Sunday, February 6, 2011

I'll be seeing you, in all those familiar places...

It seems to be the perfect entry for this sunday. An entry dedicated to people who understand true love, with valentines day right around the corner. The newer version of romeo + Juliet playing with Leonardo DiCaprio (Its one of my all time favorites). Originally I wanted more couples but when Connie told me her story I realized this entry should be dedicated strictly to her.

I think everyone wants love. Not just to be stuck in the same river of life but to be on their own happy boat. The more I dream about that the more it seems I hear people tell me how "unrealistic" my dream is.

Is it really? Just because there are few and far between, does that make it that much more unlikely that you or I may find it?

"My name is Connie Dalrymple and I've been married for 47, almost 48 years. I was married in 1963 to Bob Dalrymple. I was married at the young age of 17 which is an extremely young age and I don't advise it, however, that was for me and it was the best decision I've ever made. I met Bob who was a friend of my uncles at the time in late november on a Sunday in 1961 in Iowa. He told me his first initial thought of me was that I was quote on quote "an ugly 15 year old" and he proceeded to throw me in a hedge of bushes near our house. The next morning, while walking with my best friend to school, I told her I had met the man I was going to marry.

A week later we started dating, we dated for about 2 years even when I had moved with my parents to colorado, Bob would write me letters and come to see me when he could. In 1963 we eloped. I took the train with my twin brother, who also tagged along on our honey moon. I had told my parents what I did, during my spring break, my father told me to come home right away with bob and my brother. A 10 hour drive with my brother sitting in the middle of bob and I. I didn't know but Bob had actually asked my father for my hand in marriage previously, my father told him that as long as I finished high school and agree to marry him, he was okay with it but ONLY if I agreed. At this time of us being eloped, I was in my last year of high school. When we got back to Colorado, my father was a little displeased with the fact we went against his word, but he gave me an ultimatum. Either I could finish high school and stay with my parents, while Bob stayed in Iowa or have the marriage enald. Neither bob or I wanted the marriage to be enald (declared invalid) so he went back to Iowa and wrote me as often as he could. My father would only allow me to talk for 10 minutes a day on the telephone. After I finished school we were able to be together and over time resided in Miami florida.

Loving someone means accepting someone. Accepting them as a whole, not as a project or something you can change. That is why I think my love with bob has lasted so long. When I fell in love with him, thats exactly what I did. I fell in love with all of him. Many people today, time is so different, they get involved with money and have many things that blind them and take away from the core part of a relationship. Dating is key for that. In the amount of time you date someone you should be able to tell wether or not this person is the one you will marry. Many will say yes because its the better judgement, and it will be good for their future. Many will say yes because its been this long and to quit now would mean they wasted their time, and some.... some will say yes because they are so utterly in love it makes anyone else who isn't involved, sick to their stomach.

If I could've done something different, it would've been to tell my parents I was getting married before I actually went ahead and did it. I don't think anyone ever fully plans for children, but I would've waited to have kids till we were financially stable, but even so, I still can't fully wish to change that because those were my most favorite times of my life as most things are that are unplanned and spontaneous.

I fell in love with Bob because he was what completed me. He is the most loving person and nobody has a clue about it, which I find modest and almost romantic. You probably don't want me to answer this but as far as romance, it hasn't stopped.

(We all begin to laugh and giggle at this point)

Love isn't about sex, yes it plays a part but there are so many other ways to "make love" just by touching someones hand or giving them a look or a kiss on the cheek. There was once a time where we were making many trips from florida to Iowa together, and on the ride we would drive by many many feilds with flowers and I would always tell him "I want to just run in them". One day he pulled over, stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned against the car. I was a bit startled at first but then he told me "go on... run" or when we stopped at a gas station once during an autumn fall, many brown/red/yellow leaves were on the ground. When I came out of the bathroom he was standing there with a bouquet of leaves. It was that he remembered the things I liked and that he was being himself that kept me here in his heart. Everyone says "you made a vow" but a vow is nothing but a bunch of pre-made words someone has you say, if you have someones heart is what counts.

I know what love is. Love is having a supportive spouse and family. To have someone who can help with making decisions. Raising a family together and working together. For 5 years I was in Iowa to help take care of my parents while bob stayed here to take care of the rest of the family. He never said a word about how hard things were, and never complained for anything. He would drive to see me every so often and called me 2-3 times a day just to check up on me or say hello. He often sent me flowers and once had the delivery person stop at a dairy queen to get me a burger as he knew I hadn't had fast food in a while.

My advice? Never go to bed mad. It makes for an uncomfortable night and leaves a bad taste in your mouth in the morning and when saying goodbye? Always make it as if it is your last, because you never know when it will be and you will always wish you had. There is always time for longer kisses and longer hugs when it comes to that. "

I always hear people say "but times were so different then" Don't you think we will be saying the same thing 40 years from now? hell, the 1990's was different and that really isn't that far back. Era was important but why? why was it more likely for a woman to fall in love at first sight back then, then now? If someone told you that, lets say it's your best friend, wouldn't you look at them sorta funny?

Everytime I see this video I cry like a baby.. "being married is like having a color television set, you never want to go back to black and white." simply put.

Anyways... todays special is for you Grandma Connie. You are one special and lucky human being and I am glad I had the pleasure of hearing your story, and now all of you have as well.

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