Monday, February 7, 2011
Welcome back to another edition of "Things you should know monday but don't because your car battery just died and you just bought a weeks worth of groceries and there is no one nice enough to help you jump start your car..."
- I love when someone gives you the most useless advice... like "oh your car doesn't start? you should go to the auto parts store down the street" yeah? should I? I'd think I'd need a RUNNING CAR to get there first smarty pants.
- I always hear people tell me "communication is key" but I never see anyone actively follow that advice. Does anyone ever follow advice? Ever?
- Can't the black eyed peas just make there own music? all of there music is music from old bands with lyrics they repeat about 150 times. "Ima get that.... Ima get that... Ima get get get that" SHUTTHEFUCKUP
- Apparently Coca-cola brings people together. If so, why aren't we sending cases of those bitches to Iraq or egypt??
- Always use lotion after shaving.
- Arguing with someone else's parents is all kinds of wrong.
- DON'T sing the national anthem at the super bowl or anywhere else for that matter unless you know all the words. Shit I wish I lived like Christina Aguilera, just making up shit as I go and everything is okay when I say sorry.
- Just because I yawn doesn't ALWAYS mean I'm tired. Just like every time I sneeze doesn't mean I'm sick, Sometimes I just want to sneeze!
- Has anyone ever tried those icy/hot trojan condoms? I am kind of scared of them. Part of me feels like there is a possibility of sex feelings really neat at first and then like fucking in hell...
- Not sure if you know this but personal business is just that. Personal. Also, news FLASH! no one gives a shit about what is going on with you if they never even asked you the first place. What is with people just voluntarily speaking REALLY personal shit. IDGAF about how you are having baby momma drama! If I did, don't you think I would've asked you first?
p.s do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to sit there and not want to ask "why?" Jesus, sometimes I feel like I'm on my very own episode of the office
- If you have someone that cares about you and that you get to go home to, your life is more happy then about 50%of this worlds population therefor you should probably think twice about bitching and complaining.
- If you are constantly updating your facebook about how you wish someone had the same feelings for you, you are officially making other regular people want to throw up. Status updates are to give a quick update about what is going on at the moment, and trust me if you are crying about some girl/dude YOU DON'T WANT TO POST IT.
- If you are going to lie, then at least be good at lying. Do some research first don't just say the first thing that comes through your head and expect that to be worthy enough for a smart person to believe. I mean I may be a little absent minded sometimes but I wasn't fucking born yesterday.
- When people tell me "yeah we are getting married" I almost want to ignore their statement completely until its already year 7 of being married. ONLY THEN! will I recognize their actual marriage. Cause in all honestly according to todays society, all it is up until that point is another silly relationship.
- 2 margaritas = feeling like you just had a 2 hour massage.