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Monday, February 28, 2011

Things you should know...


but don't because you forgot its monday -___-


- I don't know how much I can stress this but coughing out loud in public is SO GROSS! Cover your mouth and if you can, make it to a bathroom where coughing out loud is acceptable with all the other nasty germs. 


- People will always remember the fucked up shit you did rather then the nice things.

- Karma does exist, and she's a fucking bitch. 

- I want to know why Bon Jovi is still on the radio. He really wasn't that great and honestly if I hear "you give love a bad name" one more time, the radio will be trashed. 

- If you have been living in the same area for your whole life, you are not allowed to some how magically acquire some weird accent. 

- If you are the type to easily get frustrated with stupid drivers, the best thing for you to do is assume that person is a teen driver learning how to drive.

- Champagne is definitely a voice volume increaser 

- For those of you that say "time heals all wounds" you are officially full of shit. In no way shape or form will someone who has fucked me in the past magically appears and all's forgiven because TIME is the pain reliever? Are you fucking kidding me?  

- If you live your life believing everyone you know will put in their 100% you will be sadly disappointed in the end. 

- I don't know about you but I ALWAYS manage to plan a vacation the same week I am supposedly supposed to get my period. So just an F.Y.I it is always good to keep track of that, not only just for pregnancy but for vacation time as well. 

- Morning sex is the BEST SEX. 

- The best fruit is cold fruit. 

- Not everyone wants to know how drunk you got the other night. Alcoholism is not something to be proud of, trust me. 



- If you have a party to go to tomorrow night, it is best to shave your legs the night before. If you have the time you can always shave again, but its better then not shaving and some how run out of time. Hairy legs remind me of animals. 

- I don't find award shows very entertaining. I JUST DON'T okay?! I don't get all hyped up on what people wear, I could honestly care less. 

- Don't ever let someone force you into something you don't want to do. It will not be worth it in the end. 

- I don't know why but people that talk out loud, like talk to themselves out loud fucking annoy the shit out of me. Keep your thinking to yourself or at least at a whisper level so I don't have to constantly wonder or ask "what the hell are you talking about" 

- Other then when I am around my friends, I am always watching what I say. I would never want to say the wrong thing. Other people however, have no idea about this concept. 

- When I was a kid everyone got a turn to be a hallway cop. You know the kids that used to yell "NO RUNNING!" in between classes? I think we should do that now too but only for cops. In other words, we would be allowed to give a cop a ticket for doing something against the law. 

- I refuse to believe the saying "nice guys finish last" unless the term is used when it comes to sex. 

- Anything you can do I can do better and thats really the truth, I'm not just saying that because it's stuck in my head. 

2 comments:

  1. LOL these are toooo freaking HILARIOUS!! Although I dont you hating on my man BON JOVI!!! HES HOT ALL AS HELL!! lol.... :0)

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  2. hahahaahah this is full of hate! i like! (not the bon jovi part) but hey yes when i get frustrated driving, also think they are very old slow people driving!! generally people in Miami are very impatient drivers! I get honks most of the time! lol xoxo.

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