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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I am #4

"My boyfriend makes me feel like I can't talk to him. Every time I have a disagreement with something, he blows up and wont even understand my point of view, what do i do?" 

I don't know how many more times I can stress how important communication is. Not only for couple relationships but for any type of relationship such as friendship, family or even when a complete stranger is confiding in you. When I was younger every time someone trusted me with a piece of info I always felt the need to fix what ever problem they were having until one of my friends told me "I just wish you would listen" I then realized I wasn't even listening. No body likes criticism or to be told they are wrong for what ever reason, but it is important for you to understand that it is possible to be wrong about something. No body is perfect. (totally went off on a tangent just now) With that being said always approach someone in a  calm setting. If you are fighting, end it with "I don't want to argue, I want to talk, so lets talk when we arent fighting" Because honestly yelling at someone is just a waste of breath. I am either going to be standing right in front of you or be on the other line of the phone so either way I AM GOING TO HEAR YOU PERFECTLY FINE IF YOU JUST TALK IN A NORMAL TONE! plus, it's always good to cool off to avoid any unnecessary comments. Don't be discouraged when the other person still seems to like the sound of their own voice. Change takes time. Also never ever let someone use you as a door mat. Every ones feelings are important, there should never be anyone who's feelings are "more important" because in a relationship you both are equal and that goes for both sexes. Ladies don't just assume because he is a man he can take a beating verbally or physically. Guy's don't just assume she's emotional because she's a girl. 

Another important piece of info for a guy. Sometimes girls say fucked up shit just to piss you off. It's just a button we like to push to see how far you will go. I know its fucked up but hey, at least I told you. 

If after all of that, he still is a giant douche, then you have 2 options:
Deal with it. Accept that he will always think he is right no matter how wrong he really is.
GTFO. Dump him. Leave. It's not worth it to be walking on egg shells all the time. 

Have a question? ask me! on my formspring

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