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Friday, March 11, 2011

Just checkinnnggg

What do you do when two of your closest friends are dating and you know that one is cheating on the other?


This is hard because if you are fairly close with both parties, you then have to decide what's more important. Which should always be to tell the truth even if it hurts. Now that we both understand that, as a precautionary I always tell my friends "I love you, but if I ever catch you cheating on someone, DO NOT be surprised when you find out I told them about it." I have no shame in that, and yes I would rather ruin a friendship with someone that i've had for 15 years then watch them cheat on someone. SO! being that I an such an expert in "cheaters" here are some steps that can help you through this awkward journey. 

1. Always give the cheater the benefit of the doubt, and the chance to explain to you and to their significant other what happened and why.
2. Time. Then you will wonder how much time you will give person (A) to explain themselves. I always say "depends on the damage" although all cheating is wrong and not acceptable in any relationship, the extent of cheating all depends on the person. Personally, I give the person no longer then 24 hours to explain themselves.
3. As an F.Y.I before you decide "I am officially going to tell this person (B) about the other person (A) cheating" keep in mind that your person (A) will most likely call you a liar and every name in the book. So to prepare for the worst you should always have substantial evidence  (printed emails, pictures of texts, saved texts, recorded conversations.) to prove that you aren't a liar and that person (A) is in fact, cheating.
4. So you did the right thing but now everyone hates you, at least one person does. All you have to do is explain to the person "You know what you did was wrong, I still love you as a friend, when you realize that, I'll be here" and in all honestly, if this person doesn't feel shitty about what they did then there is no reason to keep them around anyways. 


thats a good question. It can be exciting to explore new places and try new things but keep it out of plan view of the public. If I am swimming with a bunch of my besties the last thing I want to see is you getting some hooker from behind in the water. Now if I weren't there, or any one for that matter, I can see how that would be a little exciting. To answer your question sex outside is all fun and dandy but sex in public is kind of dirty (i dont mean the good dirty)



"DEEP IMPACT"
A variation on Deep Stick, but easier as the giver kneels by the side of the bed or couch thereby lining up more easily with the receiver. To get into the Deep Impact position, the receiver lies on their back with their legs resting on the shoulders of their partner, who enters from a kneeling position. This position also holds true to its name, meaning the giver can penetrate with everything they've got, unless of course they are too big. Any height difference (and discomfort for the giver) can be easily remedied using pillows.




Do this with your partner. Its fun and you will not be disappointed.


The world is a hard place to survive.  Falling in love.  Broken hearts.  Standing up for what you believe.  Arachnids and an entire week dedicated to sharks. Earthquakes and economic meltdowns.  Nine dollar beer nights at your favorite pub, and fashion statements that should have died years ago returning from the grave.  It’s not easy to be alive through all this, let alone survive it as a gentleman.  We must remain intact and stand out amongst the rest.  No matter how difficult it gets out there.  And the best part is, you can still look cool while doing it.
Now that you have the essential tools for surviving the 21st Century as a gentleman, it’s time to be cool.
Call her the next day.   The “wait three days rule” will always be cool to break.
Rules that are not cool to break: Never date your friend’s ex, never date your ex’s friend, never date your ex’s roommate, no cutting in line, no cutting a “line” in the bathroom, keep a napkin on your lap while dining, and it’s still not okay to go in a woman’s purse.
LOL is not only NOT okay, it’s never cool.
Your socks should be as colorful as your wardrobe.  Don’t be afraid of plaid, argyle, or stripes beneath your jeans or black slacks.
A gentleman never publicly worries, complains, or comments about money.  A gentleman who is cool never hesitates to pick up a tab or loan to a friend in need.  Remember, if you’re making more than 2 dollars a day, you’re considered in the top 3% of the richest people on the planet.   Would you like some perspective with your coffee this morning?
At a business lunch, give your credit card to the waiter before you’re seated.  This ends the debate when the meal is finished before it even starts.
Make eye contact with a woman.  Then buy her a drink before going on your way, and leave it at that.  The transaction is over, and she’ll be left thinking about you the rest of the night.
Buy a cup of coffee for the person in line behind you.
Displaying your masculinity at the bar or club or Sunday morning church service like a lion stalking a wounded herd of scattered sheep is never cool.  This representation of the circle of life in the animal kingdom always ends in a bloody massacre, so take note: stay cool, calm, and collected when she walks into the room.  Eye contact with a smile from across the way is often your green light to casually approach the situation, and make your introduction.
You are not your job or how you pay the bills.  Upon introductions, ask someone what it is they “do,” really do with their life, and not how they put food on the table.  Not only can this question change a person’s entire day, it will also tell you more about them than any question regarding their salary.
The cooler you are, the less of your phone I should see.  This is not a green light for your wireless earpiece to be worn at all times.  If your hands are not at 10 and 2 on a steering wheel while you’re closing a million dollar deal in Japan, then take it out, jerk.  You’re not as cool as you think you are.
Don’t be afraid to make decisions, even if you’re not the authoritative type.  Call the shot.  Whether or not your gun is loaded, pull the trigger.
Stay cool by being creative on dates.  Anything is better than going for drinks.  Take her for a balloon ride, a hike, or bowling and forget to keep score.  Play cards in the park, or even steal street signs if she’s the mischievous type.
Never lose your cool.  This is very un-cool.
Throwing up is never cool unless you’re with the band.
Facebook is a public place.  Stay cool by staying mysterious.  Lose the inside jokes and status updates every 30 minutes.  No one cares about what you are eating, where you are going, how cute that little dog was hanging out the window, how you take your coffee, or what you are wearing.  And that picture from college of you with a funnel, standing on a keg, and your best friend, Pete, licking your face…untag yourself, brother.
Make your yes’s mean yes, and your no’s mean no.
Always speak with confidence no matter the subject matter.
Hang out with people cooler than you.  This makes you cool by association.
Lose the baggy clothes unless you make millions performing gangster rap.
Popped collars are not cool.  They were never cool.  Unless you’re Dracula or an Elvis Impersonator, keep ‘em down.  This look only works with your winter jacket.  All other occasions: unacceptable.
Ask her out.  It’s that simple.  She’s been waiting for you to do it, I promise.  There’s nothing cooler, or sexier, than a man who has the confidence to walk across the room and ask out a woman.  And if she says no? Treat her exactly the same way you did thirty seconds ago before asking.  Surprise.  Your world didn’t stop and implode.  The exhilaration of taking this risk is hard to top, no matter the results.  Disclaimer: This is NOT permission to go asking out every woman in a thirty-mile radius like the world is going to end tomorrow.  Very un-cool.
Am I cool?  I own five shirts and one pair of boots, and wear the same jeans six days a week.  My hair is too thick and I can’t grow enough facial hair to look rugged.  I sometimes talk too much instead of listening too well, and I don’t have a six-pack.  You’re damn right I am cool.  Because it’s not about the way you look or the sound of your voice or your job, it’s your state of mind.  It’s confidence in the man God created you to be.

This was actually written by a dude and I think he took the words out of my mouth.

2 comments:

  1. "Don’t be afraid to make decisions, even if you’re not the authoritative type. Call the shot. Whether or not your gun is loaded, pull the trigger."
    i love this.may i borrow and quote you?

    ReplyDelete