I don't know why I didn't think of this before but how many of you go to the movies and are usually annoyed by some idiot at least ONCE during the movie. I mean it happens to me at least once every time I go to the theater unless I go the last day the movie is in the theater, and its literally ONLY me in the theater. It's cool because now you can send all your little annoying friends that do annoying things during the movie to this blog post.
1. Don't touch your cell phone when the lights have dimmed. I am serious, are you that much of an asshole that your NEED to know someones status update or text? Really? If your going to the movies when you could possibly be getting an emergency text from someone then you shouldn't be at the fucking movies. You should be at home watching reruns waiting for that text. I can't stand when someone does that, what is the fucking point of paying $9.00 if you are going to waster 5+ minutes trying to read a text. DON'T FUCKING DO IT! JUST FUCKING DON'T!
2. Do bring your own candy. It's like a dollar at CVS or Walgreens, you will save millions if you just buy candy BEFORE you get to the theater. You can also buy coke-a-cola if you don't mind it being somewhat luke warm by the time you see the movie. Make your own popcorn, stuff it in a plastic bag and stuff it in your purse.
3. DON'T FUCKING TALK. Just don't. The whole point of seeing a movie is to WATCH not TALK. I don't give a fuck about your opinion DURING the movie, maybe I will after but not DURING THE FUCKING MOVIE.
4. Movie dates are cool, I suppose if you have nothing better to do. What's not cool is having sex in the theater. I'll be the first to say everyone should try everything at least once but the first week of a movies release should never be time for you to try that one thing. Just sayin, there are a lot of people that are in the theater, and honestly sex is sort of an intimate situation, and I'm not sure you understand what that means but it definitely doesn't mean sharing with 30+ people.
5. If sex is a no no for movies then so is DRY sex. This isn't a fucking club bitches.. get it right or get it tight, sit down and injoy the fucking movie.
6. I would assume that if no touching of the cellular devices would be enough but since I know a lot of annoying people don't seem to have the complicity to put 2 and 2 together, as an F.Y.I turn the ringer on your phone OFF and make sure its OFF. double check it if you have to. I don't need to hear "if you like it then you shouldeve put a ring on it" by beyonce in the middle of a Robert Patterson movie.
7. Close your mouth people. close it while eating, don't fucking open it to talk.. what the hell, sometimes I feel like I am watching a movie with a bunch of monkeys.
8. Okay, the back of MY seat is not a foot rest. I don't give a fuck if you were there before me, I am here now which means you can put your feet on the ground. Now, if there is no one taking the seat in front of you then there is no issue with putting your feet up, cause in reality its not bothering anyone.
9. DON'T BRING YOUR CHILDREN TO RATED R OR PG-13 MOVIES.
I don't care if they are 13, they should be kept on a leash and taken to movies that are just plain PG like toy story or some other sort of animated film.
If you want them to see a PG-13 movie wait till its out on DVD to show them. And by children I mean tiny infants too! They are adorable and I know you want to show them off but not in a dark loud movie theater where they can scream as much as they want.
10. Don't expect to get a seat when you are sneaking into a newly released movie.
11. If you are sitting next to someone you've never met before, that doesn't mean you can just start blurting out how sucky the movie is after 15 minutes of the movie. Also, its not a place to find a date so don't try getting to know me during a movie. Its not a place for a first date for the same reason.
12. I am not yet quite sure what the edicate for arm rests are but I'm pretty sure it doesn't include you being a fucking hog. Why do you have 2 drinks!? who are you!? who do you think you are!? are you in some sort of pissing marathon? I mean movie theater cups are already sized for small giants. The their small is an average EXTRA LARGE so WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!
13. Don't put your purse on the floor.... Just don't, in reality you shouldn't ever put it on the floor anywhere but you DEFINITELY don't want to put it on the floor of a theater. Id say their floor is worse then a public bathroom near the beach that hasn't been cleaned in 6 months.
For that reaaalllly annoying person.