emilyisasecret facebookemilyisasecret twitteremilyisasecret youtubeemilyisasecret flickremilyisasecret tumblremilyisasecret formspring

Monday, April 11, 2011

Everything I said about how messed up your head is...

- First off, anything you dislike from this point on can be named a "Monday". Why? because Monday's usually suck. I don't take credit for this, Alex Sierra made it up and its based on true facts he made up from true events. Monday in this termed used in a sentence: "Fuck, I hate that long line at Starbucks, its such a fucking Monday" 

- Invest in a Steering wheel lock, Also known as "The Club" why? because you just might wake up one morning to notice your car has been stolen..... ...... .......

- Side walks are just for that, to walk on the side of the road. So those of you who think they are risk takers, do me a favor and just jump in front of a car already, and if you are simply just doing it because you don't know any better, here is your wake up call. Also, do me a favor and attach your children to a harness or leash. I don't know how many times I have almost run over a kid simply because there parents aren't paying attention to their children, and if I ever ran over a kid, the next thing I am doing is running over you. 

- I have always wanted to have an argument end with "we will continue this conversation later" it always sounds like such a slap in the face, as if what anyone has to say isn't important enough to listen to right now.

- we all have regrets, therefor i would hope we all are smart enough to second guess ourselves when we are about to do something big and wonder if it is the right thing to do, and if we will regret it later. It just takes a few seconds and could save you millions. 

- Umm look I am not much of a boaster, in fact I'd rather NOT talk about my personal life, so when I do at least act like you are paying attention and for just a few hours act like this world doesn't revolve around you. 

- I have too much pride to get over the fact that some people are just stupid and accept that. I wish I didn't so that I wouldn't have to go to parties alone, because going to a party where you don't know anyone is kind of rough and not really worth it. 

Oh hot damn, this is my jam... 

- I think the greatest invention is Air conditioning. Don't believe me? try driving in Miami with out a/c 

- Praise is a good way to make someone feel worth something. Everyone deserves it, and all you have to do is high five (or low five) someone. 

- If they remember your name, you were worth remembering... remember that.

- Every time something bad happens to me, I always ask for forgiveness knowing the reason for the bad thing happening is probably for something shitty I did in my past. Not entirely sure what it may be, but I still ask for forgiveness. 

- Compulsive assholes won't know they are assholes. It's hard to know when you are, and assholes will never believe when you try and convince them that they are.

- Here's what counts as cheating.. just so were clear:
1. sending nudes to anyone other then your guy friends as a joke.
2. Asking to meet somewhere privately.
3. Meeting for dinner secretively. 
4. "Forgetting" to omit very important information about a long night out. 
5.  drunk kissing or fucking.
6. Kissing or fucking another girl/guy
7. Lying about anything.
8. Holding hands or any other "too-friendly" gestures.. 

Here's what counts as not cheating, and reasons not to get your panties in a bunch.
1. Flirting via facebook. I know its hard not to get jealous (and you can and are allowed to be jealous over this) but its JUST over the Internet.
2. Watching porn (but that may change if you are paying for it...)
3. Writing back to an Ex's email that basically says nothing in particular
4. Lunch with a long lost friend (I get sensitive when this may be an Ex, but I am womanly enough to let it happen.) 

- This is relevant:

1 comment: