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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I had to write a post about how important it is to be a morning person. I know that its hard or just plain impossible for some people but I am here to tell you, that nothing is impossible. I too, used to suffer from evilmorningpersonitis

... I used to want to punch who ever got in my way in the morning. When ever someone had something nice to say, I used to want to repeat with something mean and hurtful. I am here to tell you there is a way to stop being such a fucking asshole in the morning. With just a few steps you can get over this hill and start enjoying your day. Think about how much more time you will get to actually experience by enjoying it rather then wanting to vomit all over everyone else's lovely morning.

1. If you have the time, exercise. I mean anything helps. In the morning, right when I wake up I stretch. I used to have P.E in high school in the morning. First we would stretch, then I would go to jazzersizing... , since then I haven't been able to stretch like I used to because I stopped doing it for a long time. It prevents pulled muscles, and just prepares your body for the morning. When you are working picking up dogs and dealing with cats that can pretty much turn you into a human scratching post, you are going to want to prepare your one and only body for a days work

2. Start eating a breakfast. Don't eat too much because eating too much will make you full and bloated. It will also make you sleepy and cranky thus defeating the purpose of having a good morning. I normally eat a piece of toast and make a fresh smoothie with strawberries, peaches and bananas.

3. Shower in the morning. I had a debate with someone who told me there was no point to showering in the morning because your day was just beginning. Yes, there is a fucking point if you aren't a morning person. Not to mention if you just like being clean, this is a bonus. It wakes up your skin and mind. Especially if you have that really fucking awesome morning body soap that makes your skin feel all tingly. Irish spring (which can be really drying) just came out with a new one that makes me SO HAPPY in the morning (i am easily amused by small things...)

(I actually really want a mug like this)

4.  Have a cup of coffee, even if you are not a coffee person. I'll be the first to say I am not a coffee person but I drink it almost every morning. I am not a coffee person because hot coffee makes me feel disgusting. Its already hot as balls outside, and not to mention hot coffee makes me want to poop right after I drink it. Thus making my morning worse being that I can't , for what ever reason, poop in public places. I already don't want to be at work, now I have to poop. So I drink iced coffee. I did a test, to see how the effects were of not having coffee added to my morning. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH MORE TOLERABLE IDIOTS ARE WHEN YOU HAVE COFFEE IN YOUR SYSTEM. I don't know what it is, maybe its the caffeine... but it makes me tolerate so much more bullshit then if I didn't drink it in the morning. I don't get super wired off of it in the morning either. I knew this kid (sergio) who acted like he was on fucking crack from a cup of coffee. some people are different. If coffee isn't your thing, 5 hour energy (the actual brand, not some knock off) works just as well too. I don't like using other brands because i tried once the 8 hour energy shots, wrong idea.. I felt like I was on the verge of having a panic attack... FOR 8 FUCKING HOURS

remember.. you aren't the only one having "one of those mornings" everyone else around you is too. At least act like you are having a great fucking morning (not just a great morning.. a great FUCKING morning) then everyone else will feed off of that energy and things will go by a lot more smoother. I am telling you a laugh goes a long way, let the bad shit roll off your shoulders.

Also ask people how they are doing. Even if you don't give a flying fuck, at least ask because sometimes someone just wants to talk about how shitty their morning is and then its over for them. Sure, for a few seconds, it will dampen the mood but at least you helped.

I thought you might want to see some updated pictures of Dax, so here the little man is! 

I can't wait till you come home little buddy!  

1 comment:

  1. I love this post, thank you!
    Every night when I go to bed I tell myself that I'm going to wake up early and get a head start on the day with a nice hot shower... then I get up and sit on the couch for 3 hours before work.
    I'm terrible. I really need to train my body to take showers as soon as I wake up, I KNOW that would do the trick.

    "and not to mention hot coffee makes me want to poop right after I drink it"
    hahahahha I can totally relate, unfortunately. I thought I was abnormal because of this, but thank jeez someone out there has this same issue!
    you're hilarious, and I love your brutal honesty.