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Monday, June 6, 2011

my heart you will mislead...



I just want to let you know that I was NOT about to let this Monday get me down! This Monday was determined to be a good monday! I swear! 

- Getting a limited edition copy of your favorite bands album signed by the singer is like getting getting a limited edition signed copy of your favorite bands newest album.


- Getting paid on Monday ensures at least 2 good Mondays out of the entire month

- You must be a very hard person to get to know if you are that pretentious. You can't be great at everything, and if you are at least act like you aren't. It's not hot.

- Sometimes I just want to cut a bitch. I think I know how to cut a cats nails asshole, I work at a vet's office you drunk motherfucker.



- "I'm like the jack of all trades who's the master of none"

I've listened to this song 20 times already... 

- You will have not done your deed until you have done what is right.

- You wanna get a girls attention? Ignore her! Trying to keep in contact with her will sometimes annoy her, if you just drop out of sight or don't send us nudes right away were all like "wtf??! diissss niggaaaaa....."



lady: "Do you wear sunblock"
Me: Yes I do
lady: I wondered, you're very pale
Me: Fuck you very much lady
(Okay that last part didn't happen.. but still)

- You know that situation when you realize you just asked a really stupid obvious question and had you just taken the time to observe you would've figured it out on your own


- Just because you think you are so bad and tough on a harley davidson doesn't mean I won't run you over with my car. You have nothing surrounding you, you will die... the light is green mother fucker, it means go!

- That's alright, keep on trying me... There's gonna be a day you will need me, and I won't be here.

- Pretty people do have it easy, IDGAF what people say. So if you are ugly you better be smart as fuck cause there's nothing worse then an ugly dumb person.

- Why has sideways pictures become such a big thing now? it really pisses me off! stop doing it!

- Guys, don't get too discouraged when your crush basically lists everything your not in a post on what she looks for in a man. If you have a few qualities, they will usually settle.

- Ladies, don't get too discouraged when all you're male friends have only some (if that) qualities your look for in a "Dream" man.... get real bitches, prince's live in disney.

- I am not gonna lie, I am sickishly excited for breaking dawn pt.1


- AWW come on! Facebook isn't fucking myspace people, you can't be making your name "The queen Bee" It's your first and last name! How hard is that?! 

- I seriously love a challenge, so don't feel like you might start shit by writing a comment on my blog. 

- You're right, I don't HAVE to read what you post on TUMBLR/facebook/myspace/twitter/fucktherearetoomanynetworkingsites But I do anyways because it makes me feel better that someone else's life is a tad bit more shittier then mine, in doing so I WILL post comments on unnecessary posts you make because YOU ASKED FOR IT YA-DICK-HOLE BY POSTING IT ON A NETWORKING SITE THAT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE GO TO EVERYDAY.

- Speaking of that, don't flatter yourself.. You aren't THAT interesting. 

- I hate when someone says "I'VE BENT OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOU!" no you haven't! that's not even humanly possible! and even when you have proof they haven't they find an excuse to explain why! wtf is this! don't just state something for the sake of stating it! 

"I HAVE A LARGE PENIS"
"No you don't your a girl"
"Okay but If I did, It would be big"
"No it wouldn't... you're a girl"

- Beer makes you all hot and bothered. 

- Look BAR-B-QUE is not more important then sex. IM SORRY ITS FUCKING NOT! so don't go to some stupid party when a girls got her room lit with candles waiting for you. You bet your sweet ass you better have a good excuse in the morning or else your dick can go fuck a pig carcass for all I care. 

- Someone asked me what my definition of love is the other day, Just out of curiosity, what's YOURS


4 comments:

  1. Love to me is to care for someone or something, despite knowing you or it will change some day. It is maintaining that patience and care for someone and something, and building it up to its infinite.
    Love can be found in your mothers smile, from opening a window, in a book, and in many other forms. It can come in different forms, and you may sometimes confuse something for love when it isn't. Regardless, it is goddamn beautiful when you have it, and ugly when you don't.

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  2. best post ever. period.

    ReplyDelete