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Monday, June 20, 2011

You are a radar detector

- I hate when people say "Don't take this the wrong way" because chances are its going to be a real shitty thing you are telling me and I'd rather not hear about it.

- I also hate when people talk about rape during dinner time.

- If you are thinking about sending pictures to an ex of you having anal sex with some nasty chick. Don't do it. It not only makes you look like a total dick, it also doesn't send the right message. We're supposed to "want you back" because of that? what fucking planet are you from??

- If you see a cute baby, please restrain yourself from touching it. It's way to creepy to have a complete stranger think its okay to touch another chicks baby.

- There is nothing like finishing your night off with a facebook comment battle.

- If you spell your words like this:

Because = cuz
You're = UR
What = wut
You've = uve
Know = kno
You = u
Love = luv

You are officially a dumb fuck, please go back to school.

I seriously love this kid.

- Don't leave a pile of shit/work/crap just because you know someone else will pick it up, thats a real dick move. In most cases I don't mind helping out but when you just expect it from me... no way bitch....

- Don't expect me just to give you a blow job and I'm supposed to get shit. Nobody does that... You can't just think that I give blow jobs out like flyers... bitch I get something too!

- If you are arguing with someone and all they can do is attack the way you look, you are winning the argument.

- I hate when people say "when it rains, it pours" fucking duh... its raining.

- I gotta say I personally feel like you are attacking my work ethic. Don't be mad because I am a professional, if you want shit work done, then get some shitty person to do it for you. Don't come crying to me when its not what you expected.

- If a dude has a girlfriend and he's talking to you all fresh, please do not think he is boyfriend material.

- I hate when I leave a message on some one's phone and instead of them listening to their God damned messages they just automatically call me back. Every time I get some one's answering machine I just want to leave my name but it never pans out that way. I always leave this long ass message that they delete right after calling me back.

- Dane cook was cool a couple years ago and now he's kind of a douche bag...

- There is only one place that can make you think you are dying... that place is WebMD

- I am pretty sure most people listen to lil wayne because they feel sorry for him because he's mentally challenged.


  1. "- I am pretty sure most people listen to lil wayne because they feel sorry for him because he's mentally challenged."


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