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Monday, July 25, 2011

Will you take pictures of my head?



- It seems like not a lot of people know about this, so I am going to take the initiative and go ahead and explain it to you dumb fucks... 

If you are on the high way and are driving in the left lane, you are officially in the fast lane. Which means you need to be going faster if not keeping a good enough speed to move with traffic. If you see someone coming up close behind you, you are officially not going fast enough to stay in the fast lane. It is proper courtesy to move into the nearest lane to let the person behind you pass, as you are not going fast enough for them. Do not just sit there like an idiot waiting for them to pass you, you are no longer going with traffic, you are now too slow for someone else who clearly has to be somewhere soon. 

- My father always told me "Think Emily, Think before you speak" and although I slip up sometimes, I still always try to see if I can find the answer to a question with out having to ask. I can't fucking stand it when someone asks me a question they can clearly answer themselves. 

- On another note, you'd be surprised how many questions I answer with a "yes" with out actually knowing the answer to the question.

- I hear a lot of people tell me "You always get what you want" but they always say it in a condescending way. I don't find this to be such a bad thing being that I work hard at getting everything I want. 

- Not a big fan of people who brag about their work. You may be good at what you do bro, but you're still a dick to me. 

- I get that there will always be haters. There will always be people that are jealous of you or just don't have anything nice to say. What I don't get are why some of these are people are people I actually call friends. Next time skip the hater-aid bitches. 


- If he is blurting out that he has a 10 inch cock, he doesn't in fact have a 10 inch cock. 

- Here is how you know you are or are dating a psycho bitch:

1. You check his cell phone when ever he's not looking. Trying to be a sneak about it but you know once you find something questionable you will have to punch him in the dick. EVEN THOUGH YOU WENT LOOKING FOR IT! 

2. If you are more then 3 feet away from him and you are trying to use your peripherals to see what the code/password to his laptop/cellphone is.... 

3. You butt in conversations he is having with anyone especially someone of the opposite sex.. 

4. You get mad/jealous that he has girlfriends that live on the other side of the earth. In other words there is no way in hell he could ever fuck her because she is 10000000000 miles away yet you are still mad/jealous about it...

5. You comment at least once a day on any of his networking sites.

6. Texting back more then twice when he hasn't texted you back. 

7. Adding his friends on the interwebz when you have never met them in real life.

8. You google his name once a day.

9. You see ANY girl as a threat.

- I admire people that take the initiative to start a conversation with a complete stranger.

- Or.... OR! you could just burn your bridges... 

- A gift, no matter how small, is still a gift.

- Which is more un-work friendly? 
1. texting while at work
2. writing while at work

- I am getting REAL tired of Lady Gaga's effort on trying to be different. As a matter of fact part of me wishes she would try and be normal now that everyones trying to be like her. I don't think dressing like a mermaid and singing in a wheel chair is going to make me think all of a sudden you are interesting... 
This is infinitely more interesting then lady gaga. 

- I wish I could focus more on my hobbies but the reason I don't is because I have a real steady job that pays 90% of my bills. Also because I'm not stupid. 

A ginger asked me to take a look at his band.
And well you know how much I love ginger bears and pop music. 

- I hate kiosks. No I don't want my eye brows waxed or a new cell phone plan. Fuck off you annoying piece of shit.. 

-relevant- 

- Someone said something to me and it made perfect sense.... A good mattress is something you want to spend extra on because in this instance quantity = quality. 





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