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Monday, August 29, 2011

- Everyone you know is a giant hypocrite. The biggest hypocrite is the one who says "I hate hypocrites." 

- Someone told me today that the easiest way to get rid of a migraine is to take a deep breath, close your eyes and exhale slowly. What a load of BULLSHIT

- The best thing you can do to a girl is ignore her. I say this but I don't mean to COMPLETELY ignore her, because that shit gets fucking lame after a while. 

- I can't wait to hear all the bullshit/ignorant excuses as to why half of new york is underwater because of Irene. "God did this because you legalized marriage!!!" 

- I hate how impulsive I am. It makes me want things I can't have.

- I almost always thing someone that pays in cash is either a rich mother fucker or a waiter/waitress. Which is weird because Rich people are never waitresses and vice versa.

- I really wish you weren't so GOD DAMNED hot. I wouldn't constantly think about fucking you.

- Don't be one of those people that take the time to say "you mean 'may I go to the bathroom?' or "You mean 'Please can you grab me some paper?'" what am I fucking 12? I ANSWER TO NO ONE!

- You cry about how imperfect your life is yet you fuck people over constantly. Why are you surprised? 

- This isn't a 1up game. If I am relaying a situation to you, you don't always have to reply with something better/worse. Just listen dude. 

- I really love the way your body trembles after not having sex for a long time.. #somethigntolookforwardto. 

-You know that feeling when you really like someone but you are way too nervous to do anything about it? Do something already, you will regret that you didn't later.

-Everyone always makes fun of me for being a ginger but I think the real soulless people are blonde haired blue eye's white people...

You ever see that movie called "Village of the damned"? Not one fucking ginger in that fucking movie.

- People who publicly post statuses but don't like the slap-in-the-face comments after are assholes. You already let the world know you are a moron. Don't be mad at me for pointing it out to you.

- Stop worrying about what your dude/girl friends are thinking when you like someone. You like them? Make it work!

- There is something I hate but can't control. When you have completely forgotten about someone is when they decide its a good time to text you a "random accident" text. Well can you "randomly" delete my number please?

- There is a rule I try to live by, that rule is "If I wouldn't like it done to me, then one mustn't do it to someone else."

This was a conversation I had with someone:

someone: "Wait so, you like taking naked pictures of girls but you aren't gay?"
Me: "Nope.. I love the cock."
Someone: "weird."
Me: "Hey if I had hot enough dudes asking me to take pictures I would..."

- I love hear about how other people fall in love. Everyone is so different in that aspect. It's like  reading a real good book.

- If you are beautiful, then you are beautiful... There is no changing that.

- Don't be fooled by people that tell you "I am +insert religion here+" being apart of a religion doesn't reflect you as a person, It just something you are into.. like music. 

- One thing I will never understand is self promotion via your own site. That's a little backwards no? If I already liked your facebook page why would you re-post on your facebook page for your already liked friends to like (wow that was a lot I know but bare with me) your page? -shrug- 

- you know you look at WAY too much porn when  stumbledupon gives you "YOU'VE RAN OUT OF OPTIONS" page.... -____- 

- You know those people that think they are always right and there is no changing their mind? Even if you have concrete evidence, they are still some how right. The fuck is up with that?

- How long does it take YOU to get out of "morning demon mode" ?

- People still watch the VMA's? Why? A natural disaster just happened. Over 700,000 people are with out power and some towns have disappeared underwater and Britany spears just made a fool of herself on stage. She could've avoided that had she just forward the money she wasted to someone that is now living in a hotel. 

And now some twitter hilarity 


  1. can i ask something? why is the best thing to do to a girl ignore them? i just don't really understand..

  2. think of it as love being a drug.. and with out it you go through withdrawals. the ignoring part you start to feel withdrawals. But there is a fine line between being ignored and just not being liked at all. dont confuse those.