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Monday, December 12, 2011

busy monday

- I get disappointed when I disappoint my religious friends by writing about sex, but then I remember that I know there is a small part of them that loves reading what I have to say no matter of explicit it is.

- Just in case you didn't know, When someone is on the phone.. that doesn't mean they are looking to start a conversation with someone. It other words.. If I am on the phone.. don't try and start a conversation with me.. I can only do so many things at once.

- I really cant stand guys who hit on me that have girlfriends.. Its fucking gross and it makes me sick.

- I love texting, don't get me wrong.. I really do but I think out generation has gotten so fucking lazy with communication. I like texting but when I am (or when i want to) getting to know someone personally, I think an actual conversation needs to happen. In other words like you need to dial my number and we need to talk... with our voices. None of this "I don't like chatting on the phone, I like texting better." nonsense. Grab your balls and call who ever you like.

- "Emily, not every guy who asks what you are doing tonight means they like you"
"no but if they ask me to come over to there place at 12 midnight because they miss me, means they do"
I think I'm old enough to read through the lines not to mention Ive been around the block a few times to know when someone is getting towards something...

- My favorite flowers are gardenias, daisies, and sunflowers. I plan on growing my own gardenia tree when I get my own place. Along with some daisies and sunflowers.

- Is it my fault you are married and don't have sex? nope. so stop trying to make me feel sorry.

- I am friends with some of the most greatest people on this earth and I am so lucky for that.

- I think about sex 24/7 now... does that make me a pervert?

- Maybe you should relax your jaw when you blow someone so you aren't trying to eat them like a sandwich.

- I am all for dating websites for people who just don't have the time to go out and meet new people. I am not for people using these sites to fill an empty void that really doesn't need to be filled in the first place.

- You know when someone says something to you, just because they feel like being an asshole.. and its usually something so untrue and so unbelievable that only later on in time can you come up with a come back because you are so astounded by their ignorance-dicking?

- Also these people can NEVER be convinced they are wrong... and that makes me want to punch them in the chest, so hard that their body is begging for air.

- Sundays have been ruined for me because Monday shortly follows..

- You should never put what has happened to you in the past on someone else.

- I used to be a dreamer, dreaming far into the future for the things that the present had in store for me. People have quickly robbed me of this fantasy, I now only try and plan weeks in advance.. Which is sort of bullshit when your work facility tells you you have to put vacation in 3 months in advance...

- How about that moment when someone does the same thing they scolded you for but its "a different story" because of reasons unknown to me. NO. you aren't allowed. Not on my watch.

- We just hurry up only to wait.

- You cannot, no matter how good it looks, claim a photo to be yours JUST because you edited it. If you did not actually take the photo, you cannot claim it is yours. You cannot come off as it being yours and then when someone asks say "I edited it" it doesn't work like that. Just because I paint my car doesn't mean I built my car.... your a phony.. a big fat phony...

- Why is it so expensive to get an education only to find out it isnt worth shit with out experience?

- I pondered today if whether or not having male roommates was better than having female roommates. I wonder that because I want to move out of state, and I for some reason think males would be more cool with having a great dane in the house rather then females. BUT I run the risk of having awkward encounters... which I would like to avoid at all costs. Also, statistically speaking males are usually more dirty than females and I was born to clean but that doesn't mean I constantly want to be doing it. Anyone care to share this theory/experiences? Girls are scary creatures, motive behind everything, "You want to hurt me? then I'll kill you" attitude. Scary scary things.

- Everyone waits till Monday to get shit done. EVERYONE WHY?!

- I think my biggest pet peeve is broken promises. If you tell me you are going to do something, then fucking do it. Its such a disappointment when I'm stuck waiting for you for something and you never fall through. You look like a jackass, and that is never cool. I realize that I may fall victim to this as well sometimes but I'm willing to work on it now that I realize it makes me a fucking asshole if I don't follow through with actually doing what I said I was going to do.

- Things I will miss about Miami:
* Cuban food
* Cuban coffee
* The beach
* City lights

- Things I won't miss about Miami:
* Everything else

no words...

- No... You don't get another chance... I wasn't worth it yesterday? Then you aren't worth it today.

- If you don't send me your Christmas list, than you aren't getting shit. I hate this guessing game shit, I am only good at it with a few select people. I cannot afford to spend a days worth trying to figure you out and I am not about to give a gift card as my last resort.

- Before you go and assume that this is happening because of something terrible. Wait a moment and ask yourself if you are just over reacting, and what are the reasons this could be happening. Never over react unless you know for a fact there is a reason to over react.

- I am not a bitch because I keep that dark part about myself under wraps. You unwrap that part of me, then you should run... quick.

- I hate how all the good clubs in Miami closed before I was old enough to drive there myself. That's just my luck I suppose.

- My best friends leave me messages that say "right now I'm holding the phone with one hand and using the other to touch mysel- wait... why do I keep telling you this shit!? I just know you are going to post it all over the Internet and people are going to think I am actually a freak when I'm just trying to be funny" shes right...

- According to my friend Emily, Pregnant people are not obligated to give gifts at any holiday, which is precisely more the reason to get pregnant.

- I for the life of me, cannot get into sex in the city. My best friend thinks I'm crazy because I relate so well to Carrie.. but I really don't think I do because I would never let a nigga come back to me like 60 times and then have the nerve to take him back after leaving me at the altor. That asshole would have to jump off a bridge. I wish tv networks would come up with more realistic shows. I don't know if I fully believe that people subconsciously follow advice from tv, call it subliminal messages but I really think that a girl could watch that show and think its okay to take a dude back that's done some FUCKED up shit. and I don't condone that shit at all. That's exactly why abusive relationships continue.. they see shit like "well it worked well for Carrie.. so maybe this will be the last time he hits me" and boom... wrong again.

- I think that's a good reason why I never get into romantic movies. I saw the notebook and for a good month I was looking for someone that knew how to build a house. Then I realized that I can't even find a dude that can fix a flat... so... fuck that movie.. no, don't fuck that movie.. that movie is gorgeous.. and by gorgeous I mean Ryan gossling.

- I take that back because I realize a lot of strange people read my blog and might actually take that statement seriously.

- It is okay to be afraid of something. Even if it isn't real.

- You ever see a penis so gorgeous all you want to do is put it in your mouth?

- Sometimes I can't believe I am actually writing this shit but then I realize every ones fucking thinking it, so whats the difference? I guess the difference would be that I'm actually saying it...

- If you are the religious type, don't waste your time on youtube, you will only be disappointed.. and I wont give a damn.

- Also.. I would rather come off as a knowledgeable slut than a close minded homophobic prick... but that's just me.

- I will never put myself in a questionable situation when I am dating someone. 1. I know better. 2. I don't really need to find out what might happen. I thought everyone was like this but I guess not. When you date someone it is not okay to sleep in another bed with another person of the opposite sex ( or same sex if your gay) even if its just for movies... or just because. I will question that situation...

- Secondly, Is it wrong for me to assume that the person I am dating should know better than to do that? or is it the type of situation that "if you didn't tell me I wasn't allowed to, how was I supposed to know?" might over rule? and I'll have to let it slide? I guess not cause anyone I date would read this, and most likely know better anyway. 

- When furniture shopping. I will buy something based off of how comfortably I can fuck on it. Brash, I know.. but sue me. That's me being considerate of others.

- Someone said something to me the other day that made perfect sense to me and that was "everyone is looking out for themselves and whats best for them" He didn't mean it in a selfish way, he just meant that everyone is going to do whats best for them. Subconsciously everyone is going to be looking out for whats going to benefit themselves because unfortunately thanks to assholes and pricks, we have be subjected to choosing a path for "me" in stead of "others" if you can name at least one person that may not do this in your life, then you should consider yourself lucky. Still though, guard yourself and don't be afraid of doing that.

- That moment when you realize you let your guard down, all the way down and are laying naked in front of someone you trust and that person may have just stabbed you 80 times in the spleen... and your stomach drops down to your feet and you want to say "oh no" yeah... scary.

- I sometimes get scared of saying what I feel because I'm notorious for saying the wrong things. This really sucks when I REALLY want to talk to someone about something serious but I don't want them to think I am weird for bringing it up. So when I do talk about something serious I usually laugh the whole time and talk in questions.. sorta like this..

"So I was going to tell you? that the other night? I was kind of thinking we could talk about this thing? Because its sort of bothering me?"


- Does sex really change people? I hear people say "that bitch just needs to get fucked" all the time but is that really what a bitch needs?

- People who buy nooks and reading tablets are a bunch of lazy fucks.

- If there was a feeling I wish I could get rid of, it would be the "why wasn't I good enough" feeling...

- The bible says there is "no greater sin" but I beg to differ. Murdering someone is a level 12 sin. Fucking someone in the ass because you both enjoy it shouldn't be considered a sin. Stealing for your family? Level 2 sin. Smacking someone? Level 9 sin. I'm sorry but you cant tell me that murdering someone and fucking before marriage is equal. You are out of your damn mind.


- Any person who will actively show someone "two girls one cup" for the enjoyment of seeing someones reaction should be shot dead and buried at the bottom of the ocean. You are a fucking sick fuck. Also really people? You cant tell me when you heard the header "two girls 1 cup" that you didn't think "I'm not too sure about this title, and I already know its something raunchy" So you get what you asked for dumb ass.

- Also.. You should run very very very very far away from the type of people that watch really gross porn that involves actual shit/piss and anything other then the natural act of having sex. There is something seriously Psychologically wrong with those people and you shouldn't stick around to find that out.

- Having long nails is like wearing high heels. You have to figure out how to use the most basic items all over again.

1 comment:

  1. You cannot come off as it being yours and then when someone asks say "I edited it" it doesn't work like that. Just because I paint my car doesn't mean I built my car.... your a phony.. a big fat phony...

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