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Friday, December 30, 2011

I dont know how much

I don't know how much time I will have tomorrow with it being new years eve and all so I wanted to get my 2011 nostalgia out of the way.

2011 wasn't too bad for me though I think it wasn't as great as I expected it to be either. 2011 was unfortunately a very lazy year for me, at least I feel that way.

The weird part? It started getting increasingly more exciting about 4 months ago. Maybe this is just gearing me up for 2012.

I feel like I have been taking everyone's lifestyles into consideration more than my own, not allowing myself to really flourish. I can't help it, I have never really been a selfish person. In doing so, its made time for adventure slim to nothing.

I promised I wouldn't do a resultion list for 2012 because I feel like there is too much I want to accomplish and just not enough time to finish it in a year but I am going to tell you what lies a head.

My writting will pick up with more themed days like "things you should know" I am not sure what they will be, but I can tell you its going to happen.

There will be many many more girl talk videos with special guests that may, or may not, be girls.

Photography will explode with many more themed shoots. Some will be movied themed, others will have their own themes.

Travel. Yes, I really don't know how much longer my flight benefits will last but I really want to get out there. So if you are looking for a photographer and have a spare bed for me to crash in, please shoot me an email. I don't mind trading services for a room and meals. Even if that doesnt end up happening I am definetly going to make trips out to places I have never been, even if I am alone... I am so tired of not knowing whats out there.

I know I should be scared but there is a part of me that says "if you don't fucking do it... you will regret it" and I don't want to ever feel that way. Not that I am supersticious but if the world is going to end in 2012... then that means I wouldeve done nothing as exciting as I planned with my life, and that is NOT a way I want to go down.

Don't be stupid about this though... Don't fuck without a condom or anything... I'm just saying that... fuck it, if you can do it... then do it.

 "When I was younger I had a dream that I was stuck in school and there was some stupid play going on in the auditorium. There was a line that stretched all around the corner and I was at the end with a friend of mine, talking about something useless probably. As the line got shorter and shorter I realized we weren't going to a play.. we were meeting up at a desk with some guy sitting at it. I squinted to see what exactly going on and figured out it was Jesus Christ himself going through children one by one making them disappear with the blink of an eye leaving nothing but their clothing behind. I started to panic and cry turning to my friend who was behind me, begging her to relay a message to my parents and family that I loved them dearly. It was my turn as I walked up to the table nervous. Jesus asked "Why are you crying?" and suddenly I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel anything actually, other then... feeling content. "I don't... know" I said. Jesus smirked and got up from the table. "This is it" I thought. "This is when I go to heaven". "Follow me" He said extending his hand to lead the way down the hall. I was confused at first, maybe he wanted to switch things up a bit. "I was looking for you" he said. "Why?" I asked. "I think you know why..." He said. We stopped walking and stood in silence. "You just wait right here" He said patting my shoulders. I turned to watch him walk back to the table to continue sending people on their way to heaven and then I woke up. After this, I knew I was meant for something... something important."

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