Today Tabitha and Charlie started their first session with Emilyisasecret today at the beach with an vintage inspired picnic. I told myself I would only upload 5 but a few slipped through the cracks. :)

One thing is for sure, everything happens for a reason. 

boy with a coin.

I have always loved this song, its got the perfect tempo for running and it makes me think of spanish dancing.

I have spent pretty much the last 3 years of my life creating a cd of music I would someday like to have sex to...

do you have any songs you recommend?

I always have this huge fear of scaring people away with how forward I am but then I realize its just who I am, and how I like to be because I can't stand people that beat around the bush.

So if I ever apologize for being so brash, its just me trying to make light of the situation, I'm not actually sorry...

I have to say...

criteria.

Jesus starting the dating process is much like trying to hire a new employee. At least that would be the most easiest way to explain it after having to weed through the many applicants.

Do you enjoy scary movies?
Do you enjoy animals, and don't mind having a large dog sneak into bed with you?
Have you ever cheated on anyone, or been convicted of a felony?

I mean these are big deals to me. I can't be with someone who doesn't enjoy the same things I do. I just seems like nobody is actually crossing off their criteria, and just jumps straight into dating which probably leads to a lot of unhappiness

A question I wonder a lot when I hear about failed marriages is whether or not people just ignored the signs in the beginning of dating. I know people who are married, and married someone knowing they have a history of cheating and will beat there relationship to death wondering whats going on. I mean is that something a smart person would ignore?

I get love conquers all but, does stupidity and ignorance just cover up evidence? and how many times have you put things on the back burner because they are simply "not that big of an issue now" should things even be put on the back burner when you are dealing with a relationship.

sure no one is perfect and there are small insignificant qualities I may over look because your personality outshines everything else, but when someone asks you to marry them, why isnt the first thing you ask yourself "is this the right thing for me to do, and am I doing it for the right reasons?"

And I know that people just plain and simple get unhappy with their marriages. That people change, things become a but more clearer over time, what ever it is they say to themselves now-a-days. I am not advocating unhappiness, if you have done everything in your power to make things work, and it just isn't then there is no reason to continue pushing it. I just wonder sometimes if people sometimes take the time to think of wether or not its going to really work given the facts of how there relationship has been thus far.

We all come from broken homes.

- If you are going to take your date to the movies, take it up a notch and take her to play. its original and awesome, sure fire way into a girls vagina. 

- Everyone should have a car survival kit in their car that carries, rope, a flash light, screw driver, a knife, a flat tire repair kit

- Never be the one who is canceling last minute on a date, I will never pick up your phone calls again. 

- Cuddling is cute but not when I am trying to sleep. It gets hot as fuck and I always feel like I'm suffocating 

- I have a big pet peeve about people who use incorrect grammar. This is weird because I can sometimes not be the greatest at spelling, but I know it when I hear it and its much like hearing someone vomit.

- How do I not speak spanish? Well its simple see... anywhere else it would just be normal for my primary language to be english being that the more prominent language anywhere else in america IS FUCKING ENGLISH. No, I don't NEED to speak spanish, I won't die if I don't. How about YOU learn english? One day Miami is going to be taken by a giant wave and where will you be then? hmm? If you left miami and went anywhere else in Florida or out of the state you would be royally fucked. Miami is the only place you can get away with this. So fuck you very much. 

- I don't date anyone in Miami simply because all the men I know and see are shorter then me.

- Someone asked me the other day if I was filthy rich would I own a yacht? FUCK YEAH I WOULD!!! what else is there to throw away money on? I wanna be like jay-z, bitches... 

- It's not my fault you are late... I didn't wake you up an hour late. I didn't create traffic JUST for you, so don't take it out on me. 

- I am definitely NOT a feminist. I do think woman should be in the kitchen, safely at home catering to a loving family. By the same token I think men should fix absolutely anything and everything. If you can't, you obviously have a small penis. 

- I have 3 very important qualities I look for in a dude. 

1. Do you love dogs, specifically LARGE dogs?

If your answer is "I like dogs" then you have answered this question wrong and have failed. You must LOVE dogs, not just "Like" them.

2. Do you love scary movies?

If your answer is "I like scary movies" then you have answered this question wrong and have failed. You must LOVE scary movies, not just "like" them.

3. Have you ever cheated or been convicted of a felony?

If you answer yes to either of these, you deserve a punch in the dick. 

- A lot of people take much comfort in sympathy from others and self pity themselves. I personally find you pathetic.

- I use the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. 

- I am still a mystery and take great comfort in that.

- Today I thanked God for cold air in my grandmothers 1980's BMW, no traffic and a hot cup of home made cuban coffee. 

- Studying for finals is a medical term for "Zombie virus" 

- Wow ^^ 

- One of the shittiest feelings on earth is finally being right about something, and then being totally WRONG about something else in a matter of minutes. 

- I believe in "Jynx" just like I believe in "Hope" and "Faith"

- Every time I think about another guy when I masturbate, It will always force my current relationship to fail. It's is a bad Omen so don't do it. It's not like I'm thinking about like other guys I physically know, maybe its about ryan gossling you sick-o's 

- I would not hesitate to punch someone (maybe even a complete stranger) for doing something wrong.

- What ever is necessary to do, you do it. 

- Motels always look like the AIDS virus owns every single one of them. Who ever dare to actually stay in one is one sick human being. 

- I will never again, give up my happiness for someone else's 

So my birthday is coming up and my friends are asking me what I want. I thought long and hard about this, so here goes...

1. Reebok lifestyle classic

I have had the same running shoes for about 2 years now (I just don't like spending money on myself..) so its about that time again to get some new pairs of shoes. 

2. Jill-E camera bag

I have a tiny owl bag I carry my lens's in but with me now upgrading my camera, and getting a new lens,  It just isn't going to work for me anymore. This however, will :) 

3. Owl Pillow

I love this persons etsy shop. I have for some time now, I just never bring myself to buy one.

4. PUR 4-1 pressed powder in the porcelain color

5. Gift cards for amazon (Its the new walmart)

I buy mostly everything off of amazon now. 

Twilight Zone

I wanted to share this song today by SoLo. I have pretty much been listening to his album non-stop on my way to work. You know when you hear a song that so good, you can't help but move. Yeah I totally have my white girl moments to this song.

On another note can I just ask why some people find the need to give you their work out advise when you never asked for it in the first place? I find it personally rude and unforgivable at times. Look, what works for you wont necessarily work for me, how would you feel if I busted my ass off trying to get your results and they made me look like a man afterwards? I would kill you.

I am really happy you are getting the results you are getting, but you can refrain from trying to give me trainer advice when it clearly isnt your forte.

Also remember when your parents used to tell you "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all"? What the hell happened to that statement? I love it when I get a comment that is rude beyond belief and they are completely oblivious to it. Umm yeah... you just basically called me a needy idiot... and you don't feel bad about that?

Do me a favor and think before you speak. Just because you don't think what you are saying at the time will have an effect on the person at the time, just think about it for a second. DICK.  

Now Tuesday here is your sex position of the day...

Mastery - kneeling 

This is one seriously sexy position. Lovers of virtually every fitness and skill level can enjoy the benefits of Kneeling Mastery. It is intimate, erotic, and naturally gives rise to plenty of kissing, thanks to the face to face contact that affords it. Because of its ease and simplicity, couples can go at it for ages!

Find yourselves a comfortable couch and have the receiving partner straddle their mate's lap facing them. Because the receiver can perform this move unassisted, the sitting partner is free to explore their body or augment their movement, using their hands underneath the buttocks to bounce the receiver or draw them closer. However, although this kneeling pose is comfortable and fun, those with knee problems may find it a bit of a strain.

Using a firmer couch prevents the receiver’s knees from sinking into the cushions, which allows them to move more freely and improves their capacity to go the distance.

LeGAL

- I hate when people use old sayings at the wrong time. If you aren't sure exactly what the saying means, just don't say it to sound wise, cause in the end you will sound very stupid.

For example:

Joe: I just think those TSA reports were done last week, which is why there are none on my desk this week

Alex: Yeah, this weekend was craazeeeeee like beating a dead horse.

umm yeah... no... thats not how you use that expression, sorry.

- Sometimes when moments like that occur, I like to pretend I'm on my very own episode of the office and look at corners of the room and act like there is a camera to make faces like this:

- Apparently cumming on a girls face isn't degrading according to every single person I know with a penis.

- If it means you will be saving a life, you are doing your job as a human being. 

- On that note, I would personally take a bullet for any stranger. 

- If you are the type of person that gets very over dramatic when something very miniscule happens, such as a change in temperature, go to a doctor and have them sow your mouth shut. kthanksbai

- Speaking about vagina, thanks to Laz I am now referring to my/any "naughty part" as a cookie. It's fun! It's cute! just do it. It makes for neat inside jokes.

- I used to care about what people said about me, but now if you don't like me... there's the door. 

- there is no harm in looking for love as long as you know you will be disappointed the majority of the time. 

- I cannot stress enough how sexy confidence is. 

- Understand there will be many situations in life. A lot of them will be shitty, but its just so you can appreciate when they aren't. 

- I don't think you are ready for this jelly. 

- People who are able to create drama out of nothing should be only allowed to associate themselves with other people who do the same thing. although, I think if we did that, a giant black hole will open up and... yeah... no bueno. 

- It's not a good thing to have nightmares that feature you being late to work.

- Drugs are bad. They just are. I don't need to tell you that because we've been saying it for God knows how long, but just stay away from them. 

- If you are getting sexually turned on just by sitting next to a person of the opposite sex, something isn't right. 

- What's also not right is continuing to cancel date plans on a girl that really wants to just have a make out session.

- Everyone should have a wooden figure of JAWS. I know I do and this guy is pretty awesome. He sent mine really quick, just in time for my friends birthday gift.

JohnBirdSong

- The reproductive cycle of bees is fascinating – and complex. But here’s the short story: a queen is selectively bred in a special "queen cell" in the hive and fed royal jelly by worker bees to induce her to become sexually mature.

A virgin queen that survives to adulthood without being killed by her rivals will take a mating flight with a dozen or so male drones (out of tens of thousands eligible bachelors in the colony). But don’t call these drones lucky because during mating, their genitals explode and snap off inside the queen!

Strange as it is, this actually makes evolutionary sense: the snapped-off penis acts as a genital plug to prevent other drones from fertilizing the queen. But tell that to the dead drone whose penis just exploded.

happy monday.

Where the wild things are...

Today was Penn's Birthday. We celebrated it at Tropical Park here in South Miami. We had a lot of good laughs and munched on some food before the rain drew us out. Here are the pictures from today!