Somebody give me a sign that every thing's going as planned.

Lets get one thing straight. While I talk about all this fucking and sucking, I do it purely for the advice of others in my life and sometimes rarely for my own (because I think if anyone knows better, it would be me)

I am the girl you want to bring home to mom, the girl of your wildest dreams (trust me on that) but I am not some secret slut. I am a give and take kind of person, and if you are only offer is just for yourself, you can go else where.

There will come a day where every single on of you will wish you never made the mistake you did.

"I think I know why they always make you a secret. No body wants something that good to get out in the open"

And while we are on the subject of blow jobs...

ladies don't get it in your head that you need to deep throat a guy. Vomiting on someone's cock isn't acceptable. Use your hands and your mouth, hell get creative with it. It's not always just about mouth action.

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap...

Happy memorial day! Thanks to all the men, woman and service dogs giving up their wonderful life here to serve our country! This one is for you.

- If a guy is missing 3 out of 4 qualities you look for in a dude, don't let his handsome looks fool you. Be smart about this ladies...

- Joe: If I deny your friend request 3 times in a row.. you should probably learn to take a hint.

- Know that if someone is not what your looking for, and they themselves know this for a fact, then they purely just want to fuck you.

- You wont believe how many times Ive heard that "we will be/are divorced" so spare me

- You wanna start your morning off right? Play an AC/DC song while your getting ready.

You wanna make it more interesting? Do your stripper routine then too. ;-)

- There isn't a reason to feel sorry for anyone, because most people create their own problems. I think they are supposed to learn from them anyways.

- I love how people love to comment rude or just plain mean shit on things you post. Why? I mean why not just keep it to yourself? "wow this is ugly" wow so are you.. sooooooo fuck off? kthnxbai

- I'm doing this new thing, you should try it. Create an alter ego... nicki minaj does it, and people love her.

- There is a fine line between friendship and obsessed/stalker/weirdo creep guy. If I don't want to talk to you, that doesn't mean CONTINUE TO TRY AND TALK TO ME. Friends don't force friendship.

- If you don't agree with some one's relationship, that's fine. It may just end up working perfectly just for them. Which will make you look like a total asshole. So if you have something to say, make sure you think about what you are going to say first. 

- I've found that there is no difference in pretending you have personality traits, then actually having them. 

- I have a friend that thinks it wouldn't be such a bad idea for a girl to have a friend that she purely uses to satisfy herself. They both know there are no strings attached, it's just like studying for a class, you both are learning together.. I dunno if this is such a bad thing.. 

- You don't want to insult a photographer that can teach you a lot about photography..

- You can't find love on the Internet, so stop thinking you can! You are forcing the idea of love which usually always back fires. 

- Look before you go and judge a song, give it at least 15 seconds before you change the song.. I know a lot of songs with crappy beginning but fantastic endings

- I hate waking up from a dream that you know you shouldeve known was a dream

- I just want you to understand something. Anal sex isn't natural for straight woman. If you are a straight woman and you enjoy having anal sex, then you are something out of this world entirely and you can ignore this post, but because I don't believe they exist, just like unicorns, here is my theory. Woman say they enjoy anal sex because men say they enjoy anal sex and because in all honesty men are running out of things to fuck. Tits, mouth, hand, vagina... oh fuck... what now?

what now? no... not what now... anal sex isn't and shouldn't be an option okay? why would you want to fuck the hole where we shit from? That's like fucking a 24 year old uncleaned dumpster... wtf is wrong with you? Not to mention its spent years letting things only come out, not once have I ever tried to put something back in...

And really? what, my vagina's not good enough for you? my clean beautiful vagina isn't at the top of your list anymore? I gotta tell you, I'm a little upset about that. Sure woman will allow it to happen either because 1. They love you and its something that you REALLY want (why you want it, is beyond me) 2. The girl is a whore and Her vagina is loose. So next time you are thinking "I'm wanna fuck her in the ass" think back to this post...

"I speak the truth and everybody else knows it,
So set your ego to the side and just get the fuck over it.

Can't waste my time on hateful people like you.

So keep wishing you were me and I'll keep making you have to."

Good news or bad news...

Hey guys!

Aren't you excited for the long weekend? I just wanted to share somethings with you for the weekend. These are things that I find really interesting.


Did he just play a trance song on a guitar? brought to you by Videobash

This really pretty braid tutorial. 

The worlds smallest aquarium 

This is a bad ass tattoo. 

I am seriously considering starting to use Smugmug.com for my clients to see proofs and for printing options as well. I'm going to try their free trial and have a print done to test the quality.

Can I just say how full of shit FOX NEWS is? God do they ever get tired of sticking their heads up their asses? Really? Now you are going to tell me to beat my kids? Sometimes I think they make up their own stories.

Everyone meet "Dax" he was my final decision on a sphynx! Congrats Dax! 

Look at that second picture! I can't wait to meet him! 

wow, angles.

Anon asks:

I have a friend who's in love with a guy who has no idea who she really is. They pretty much only have one thing in commmon, and it seems to be distorting her vision - she's choosing to just be ok with "eh" even though she deserves the best. What do I do?

It is kind of tough because anyone in this situation thinks their friend is not even going to listen. You have to ask yourself if its important enough to have a weird static between the both of you afterwards. I say this because sometimes the outcome isn't very pretty when you try to open someone's eyes to something they are not willing to see themselves. My best friend is afraid to tell me things just because she knows I am right about everything, and these are things she knows she's doing wrong but as humans its like we HAVE to try things even if its bad for us. 

If you are very concerned with her wait till it is just you and her and explain how you feel. I normally will do this when a friend is already questioning a situation between her and her boyfriend (or vice versa) because at that time they are already in the right mindset to question your opinion as well. 

I think I've said this before that people like to "settle" for things because they are impatient and want to feel something with someone else even if that feeling is a dull feeling to begin with. No body likes to be alone and some people hate that feeling more then others. Its almost like drowning, they spend more energy trying to swim to the top  which ends up making them drown faster. I am not saying to just sit there and drown. Maybe this is a bad analogy. 

Point being that you should make her understand that there is always going to be someone that is your puzzle piece. Literally, everything you have ever wanted in someone is out there, somewhere, making their way to you somehow. You just have to ask yourself... Is that worth waiting for? 

Anon asks: 

Emily, what makes you so attractive to me? 

Umm.. I don't know apparently my parents have the "attractive" gene? 

Okay guys here Is option number 3!

This is more of what I was looking for in terms of coloring. He's a male and this is his daddy who he will resemble more of in the coming weeks.

I have been speaking with another breeder who usually has the kittens I love but currently doesn't have any up for sale at the moment and probably wont till December, I am seriously considering in waiting till that time comes but this little guy stole my heart this morning. 

Do you have any questions? If so, please don't hesitate to ask on anything and everything here on my formspring. 

Pretend

- I love working for free

- Don't let other people make decisions for you, you will regret not following your intuition in the first place.

- Never feel offended if a girl JUST wants to have sex with you. Take it as a compliment. 

- Can I just say something? Sure I was probably asking for this when I decided to get tattoos that weren't going to be covered, but can you please stop fucking staring at me like I'm some fresh piece of meat for you to eat? Some people are either too fresh or too rude when it comes to people with tattoos and I'm honestly tired of it. How is your opinion going to make anything any better? hmm? close your mouth and stop staring please. I am buying groceries just like you, its not like I'm standing there with a severed head. Jesus. 

- Don't be so nervous on dates, It's obvious and there really isn't a reason for it. 

- Don't be the dude that asks "I don't know, what would you like to do?" If I knew what I wanted to do, don't you think I would've been the one to suggest this date? There is nothing more unattractive then a guy who doesn't have a clue about what the fuck is up. Execute the date man! fucking plan it and make it cool as shit, don't give her the opportunity to change something YOU wanted in the first place. I mean sure, you should be polite but thats where chivalry comes in to play. Open doors for me but don't make me the date planner. I wanna see what you have up your sleeves. I wanna see what you have to offer me and if I am the one making plans then you aren't offering shit! I want a guy who knows what he is doing, and it's totally cool if you don't but at LEAST act like you do! 

- There doesn't always have to be a conversation. You should be comfortable with silence. 

- First off let me obviously state that I am not a fucking moron. I know this because well.. look at this blog.. but for some reason I have people in my life that continue to make me feel like the biggest piece of shit on this planet and there excuse is always "Im not trying to be a dick I'm just telling you this so you won't make that mistake later on in life when it matters" yeah? well let me be the first to tell you you are being a dick. There is such thing as being polite and not shitting in my cereal. I just so happen to be having a good morning, they got my coffee right at starbucks and it was free so stop "trying" to teach me a lesson this morning when it really doesn't matter anyways. I don't think that by aligning my shoe laces in the correct pattern is going to save me from a catastrophe later on in life. 

- I love when people generally care about what's happening in my life. Everyone that takes a small second of their day to read this blog is amazing. I got like 4 text messages from people telling me there was a cat show on animal planet about sphynx's you guys are awesome. 

- Just because you believe in God and go to church every weekend doesn't make you a christian. 

relevant. 

- How could someone be so selfish to think that they themselves are what brought a family back together? You aren't the only fucking human being in a family asshole.

- Just so you know, because it seems like you don't.. there is no I in TEAM 

These are pictures from when I celebrated my cousins birthday!

I love these cuties.

Tilly photo bombed. 

I just need some body to love...

Am I the only person who is addicted to confessions of an animal hoarder?

Its like a train wreck all I want to do is stop it from happening but I can't stop watching.

I went to a shooting range for the first time with my friend Andrew to test out his SIG SAUER® P226® that he just recently purchased. I have been thinking about getting a gun (Along with everything else I've been thinking of getting: Car, Naked Cat, Apartment, Lenses, Camera) but I have a list of things I need to purchase first. I will however definitely have one before I move. As if having a 126lbs dog isn't enough...

It was nice though, the weather was still hot at Trail Glades Gun Range but we were under an enclosure and there was a nice breeze, I also think I was so nervous about holding a gun that it also didn't help with the heat. I have always been scared just because of school. They always had police men come in and talk about the safety of guns and not to mention all the horror stories I heard as a kid where kids my age shot their best friend while "playing" with a gun. I'm also accident prone, so I figure if I don't even touch it, I wont fuck it up. All this talk about the apocalypse made me a little nervous knowing all I have to defend myself is a rusty axe (oh yeah, I'm fucking good with an axe, don't be fooled) and while those never run out of ammo, I would still like to have some sort of firearm. So we took a safety class before, they taught us the fundamentals of gun handling and then we were off.

Okay, so at first I was a terrible shooter. Andrew says otherwise but I really think he was trying to be nice BUT! I will say this. I definitely hit my target numerous of times. The safety guard even came over after we were done and said "Hey, this dude over here, hasn't even hit the target once.... (shakes head)" so I felt a little better about that.


I also went to look at a bmw 2002tii today. I am pretty happy with it. Dad and I are talking about making an offer..

I actually even like the blue color, but I know adriana is not going to allow it. She says "orange is you, and you only" so we will probably end up painting it colorado orange which is an original bmw color. 

oh beemer, I miss you... :-/ 

Prime example

This is option #2

He doesn't look like much on the left but the breeder says he will have seal point markings which is the kitty on the right. I like this one more then option #1 because 

1. He's a male. After working at a vet clinic for the last 4 years, I have come to realize that male cats are usually nicer and more affectionate then female cats. Its just purely observation.

2. He has better coloring then the female, EVEN THOUGH I really like the female and her colorings. 

The breeder seems nice so far, I was a little concerned if I remember correctly when I got Ollie, the breeder made me fill out a questionnaire which made me feel a little bit better because I felt like the breeder actually cared where her dogs were going. However after contacting over 7 breeders, I have only had one have me fill out a form. I guess cat breeders work differently. 

Speaking about contacting people, I have been contacting my friends in nashville and some new folks in portland. Marlene is making me visit some part of texas, she says I wont regret it. Though its not like she can move there anyways because shes still stuck in North Carolina. 

I like the "some how manage to make clutter look cute" look. I can never make it work for me, I can only hope some day I can. Its been hard making lists of apartments to look at while I am away because I have Ollie, who might as well be 125 lbs of sleep meat because thats all he does is lay around. Most of the apartments in Nashville as for pets under 50lbs. Portland is such a different story, they allow any breed and any number of animals (under 5)

All of June is almost all booked up with photo shoots which is exciting and almost saddening considering the person that was supposed to come though and pay me for some pet sitting services, which I was going to use for some new lenses, hasn't and probably wont which is exactly why you shouldn't trust anyone for anything these days. Adriana is right though, I have been using Carousel Studios to rent camera equipment and they are fairly priced and It gets the job done in the mean time. 

Speaking about not trusting anyone.. just so we can touch base on that. Don't ever take anyones word for anything even if they are family members. Expect the worst because its bound to happen and if it doesn't then you will be 10 times more appreciative when it doesn't. 

In addition to look for an apartment I am also looking at sphynx's for ollie to have as a friend while I am away at work, or photo shoots. Luckily there are a few breeders here in south florida so I will be posting updates on the ones I visit.

Don't get this confused with a sphinx. I am not talking about mythological creature. I am talking about the hairless cats.

This is my first option. I really like what the breeder has put out so far as far as litters go. Her cats are quality stuff. Thing is this kitten is a female, and working at a vet clinic I always think male cats are 100 times more affectionate then females. However this is why I like the breed so much. THEY ARE SO AFFECTIONATE. 

Anyways, Ill fill you in as the time comes. I plan on doing and entry on each breeder I meet up with. :) 

Hey guys!

So I have started to look for places to live. I have thought long and hard about where I am going to go and this year I will be making a few short trips out to a few places before I make my final decision but I wanted to share some apartment designs with you!

as seen here "Gathered style"

I have always thought that one should paint a room to make it cozy but I always see misplaced/mismatched furniture to be super cozy too. I have been "gathering" furniture for a while now just to have for some photo shoots so It would be nice to implement them in an area for seating too :) 

How long can you burn for anyways?

- There is nothing more that annoys me then someone that waits till almost midnight to tell me that we can't hang out. Look, I wont be mad if you tell me first thing in the morning. thing is, I usually have very little time off due to my job and hobbies, so when I do, I don't want it wasted waiting for friends to make up their minds on what to do for today.

- Maybe its just me, and I'm just a morning person but do what ever it takes to cheer your sour ass up in the morning cause it really fucks my morning up having to put up with you.

- If someone says "I don't know what to tell you" your answer shouldn't be "well is there something you can tell me?"

- I don't know if this is how other people work but the more I try to force myself to feel "something" the more frustrated I get at myself for not feeling it in the first place.

- I am usually not the type of person to disappear over the course of a few weeks but lately that's all I've wanted to do.

- I have decided that nobody Else's problems should determine what should happen in my future.

- I truly believe that when shit starts first thing in the morning, its going to continue through the rest of the day. So be prepared for it to be "one of those days" which is usually a Monday... fuckin Mondays...

- Here is what I don't understand, how can something that is brand new be priced at 2300.00 on amazon, and the used price be 2400.00? Are you fucking kidding me? How is that possible?

- I keep seeing that commercial for walmart how they are matching prices now. Really? are you that much of an asshole to go to probably the only place that's going to give you the best prices on something to say "I think your already low price is too high?" and how stereotypical is it that walmart have that part be played by a black person. Yes, I can say BLACK PERSON because I'm constantly referred to "white gurl" or "white person" Its not a derogatory term, or a racial term its simply a color observation. I am racist against fucking morons, specifically cheap morons that go to walmart asking for an already low price. On another note, you think they match online prices?

- I always ask myself if I'm going to be a good mom. I ask myself this because I treat my dog like hes my kid and my friends constantly tell me "you're going to be a great mom" however, I get super agitated at misbehaving children or parents that clearly don't know how to "train" their kids. I also heard somewhere that you never know if you have SBS till you actually have the kid, so in my mind I see it as a switch that i am not entirely sure whether or not it can be turned on or not by the sound of a baby's cry. I guess one day we will find out and that kind of frightens me.

- How can a dude feel right about buying regular condoms knowing that there are XL MAGNUM condoms being sold at your regular drugstore pharmacy?

- perfect running posture is as show here:

Thanks Triathlete Erica Lynn Lovell-Urquiola

You can see more running tips here at Dailyrunningtips 

- I just wish it was easier to be honest, and it was a quality everyone had.

- Dear Starbucks on 6603 South Dixie Highway Miami, FL 33156
I really wish you got your shit together and learned to put sugar in my fucking coffee, EVERY FUCKING MORNING except for the days that I say sugar/sweetened a million times in my order, you forget to put sugar. You are very lucky that I don't like confrontation.

- When I was little, my best friend was a cheerleader, so it was hard to compete for guys. I thought being different like climbing trees, acting as a power ranger, and playing video games would make me different and more appealing. Turns out guys at that age could give a shit less about anything other then looks. So I thought in high school if I learned to drive stick, dye my hair every color in the book, and listen to music only a man would love it would set me apart from all the regular girls, turns out guys could care less about that shit, they just want sex.

 So in college I thought if i cultured myself in sex, got tattoos, and became the coolest fucking girl on this planet, guys would want me. Turns out I was right.

- It is true by what they say that people are easily influenced by their peers. I know that is hard to accept because you "love" your friends, but if they do stupid shit like drive drunk to parties and try to fight D.U.I's in court then you need new friends.

- If you are about to get fired from your coffee shop job, don't sweat it so much. REMEMBER its JUST a coffee shop, not some executive position that pays for a private jet very time you need it. Also, if they are being that much of a pain in the ass, fuck em. Leave with a bang. wait, I don't mean that literally, I just mean for you to fire yourself memorably.

- Life is better elsewhere, but don't waste your time thinking about that when you can just make life what it is where you are.

- I love when a kind photographer critiques my work, more specifically when I ask for them to evaluate my photography. I hate when someone critiques my work when I never asked for it in the first place, and they have no idea what they are talking about.

- if you don't like who I am then that's okay, I understand that not everyone will agree with what I have to say. What I have to say is a lot for people to swallow. I am vulgar and straight forward. I used to mask myself in front of people that I thought would negatively judge me, and In some cases I still do. Thing is I am good at what I do, and if you like what I do, then you can stay. If you don't then you may go just let me know why you are leaving. I can try to make changes to who I am if i think its for the better, I just like to know when I may be wrong, if there ever even is a time. :)

Relevant 

- Talking publicly how you fingered a girl at age 6 doesn't justify anything.

- I don't believe on asking questions anymore if you are on the internet. Save yourself the grief of looking like an idiot by searching on google instead of asking "whats a flesh light?"

Hey everyone! Happy sunday, it is definitely a dark and gloomy one over here is sunny south florida. It has been raining and thundering all morning.

I just wanted to fill you in on what I have been doing all week. I had a few photo shoots and a meeting with Sergio of the fourth machine to talk about my photos and some advice, In stead of being set on a 70-200 lens he's now changed my mind to a different lens, and due to this amazing weather I think we are going to watch the original 1973 version of "Don't be afraid of the dark"

and some weird alien movie he insists is one of the scariest movies he's ever seen. 

Speaking of movies my best friend and I went to see the new movie "Bridesmaids" I was a bit hesitant at first because I really hate chick flicks. I just do, and I think a big part of the reason is because nothing compares to "The notebook" everything else is terrible acting and super cliche. Anyways, this movie I WILL BUY when it comes out on dvd. It's seriously the funniest movie I've seen in a long time, probably since 40 year old virgin.

Go watch it with your best friend you will love and laugh at it. Its really not a chick flick, its more of a comedy.

I am also in the process of making clip in hair extensions just so I can do this to my hair:

Anyways I'll let you know how the movies go

These are the good times in our life

I hate when people selectively forget things. First of all, it takes a lot of me to remember details of every conversation, being that I talk a lot and sure there is information I choose to let go and some I choose to remember but the most important things I choose to remember, I know this because that information is more likely to get me in trouble or be very valuable later in the future. So when someone chooses to forget something I remember so clearly It makes me want to punch a baby.

I took the time and effort to remember that valuable part of information and you just choose to forget it? who the hell do you think you are?! I even hate it more when it was recent information too, like if I told you an hour ago "By the way, just so you know I'm leaving your soda in the fridge" and you scream when you find its all exploded in the freezer... wtf dude!?

Also I can't stand people who feel the need to complain. I mean I'll complain when its necessary and by necessary I mean like there is a dead mouse in my food or someone just grabbed my boob intentionally but if someone forgets my sugar in my coffee (which happens MORE OFTEN then not) or a friend forgets to bring back that CD I've been asking for since high school, Hey, it's not a big deal, Its just a fucking CD.

But its those people who are the kinds of people to yell "THE SKY IS FALLING" when its only raining, the type of people that will call the manager over when someone put a little too much half and half in their coffee and demand the incompetent person that made it be fired... Who the fuck shit in your cereal this morning? seriously are you that much of an asshole to get that angry over something so simple?

ALSO

I hate when a guy says "I don't know how big my penis is, I've never measured"

Really? cause the first thing I would do if I had a penis would be to measure that bitch, I would want to know what were dealing with here. Don't lie, if you have a considerably average penis, it's not a big deal. It is however a big deal if you tell me you are 10 inches and really end up being 4 inches, lying wont make it grow kids, its not some sick backwards pinocchio

second portion of Tabby and Charles shoot

I know, there is a lot of black and white but it just seemed so fitting given the fact that this was a vintage photo shoot. I am very pleased with the way the photos came out, I can't wait to shoot their wedding! 

See you soon guys!