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Monday, January 2, 2012

Heyoooo


- You can't deny the fact that listening to rage against the machine on a Monday morning will automatically put you in a good mood.

- You can't expect someone to know something that clearly isn't in their area of expertize. If I know nothing about washing machines, you can't ask me if I noticed a timing belt was missing. Do washing machines even have timing belts?



- I think it pisses people off more that you react with a happy attitude when the other person is trying to make the atmosphere around you a shitty one. Which kind of sucks because then they always try to make the Ora shittier when you aren't also in a shitty mood, which makes me wonder if I should just be in a bad mood so it wont get any worse.

- I don't like seeing people cry. I feel helpless because I always feel like there isn't a single thing I can do to make them feel better, so I just hug.


- I don't know if the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is true or not, but I can tell you that its hard to gain trust back or ever when you go and do a thing like that and because of that a lot of people think it easier to just be with other people on the side than to deal with the relationship that they already have. However, if you feel remorse about it, and even though you did the wrong thing, you do the right thing after, like telling your boyfriend/girlfriend what you did, then that is the first step to leading a better relationship and proving a non-believer (such as myself) wrong. I can't guarantee that things will get better or ever be normal again but you did the right thing in trying to fix things and that's gotta stand for something.

- Sometimes you just have to sleep all fucking day to catch up on rest and there is no fucking shame in that.

- Everyone is all hyped up on 2012, I'm just hyped up about kissing 2011 goodbye. What a fucking shitty ass year.



- I 'lol' at people that say "I don't have any money for myself" but have 6 cars and a nice ass house. 'lol' at you sir... 'lol' at you.

- I should probably feel ashamed of how completely vulgar I am but come on people.. You don't have to put up with me, and if you feel like you have to then you can leave.

- Also... 'LOL' at the people that call me a professional slut that are raging alcoholics. 'LOL' at you ma'am... LOL AT YOU.



- If it takes a whole year to pass for you to say "its time for a change" then you are an asshole and need to re-evaluate yourself.

- But hey, if you are REALLY going to make the effort to change (for the better) than I guess I can't hate on that shit.

- You can't implement rules and then only scold certain people that don't follow them. Rules are made for everybody, not that certain people. There is no reason to have rules if you will bend them for certain people. Those aren't rules then, those are more like kind guidelines.

- Don't give me that "hopeless romantic" bullshit when you were the one that cheated on your g.f You aren't fooling me dude, and if you can't accept that about yourself, then you are nothing but a little boy.



- I don't quite understand people that boast on facebook. That's like kind of an oxymoron. If you are so god damned busy, why are you not busy enough to post a status update on facebook. Bitch get a life seriously.


- You must choose your battles wisely.

- My dad always told me "Emily.. think... think before you speak" I try really hard to do that, and I slip up every now and then but.. I think its important to think before you say anything in order to really get across what you are trying to get across.

- That moment when your boss comes across your blog entry while your at work.....



- I can feel it in my bones.

- You must always be respectful to your elders no matter how completely wrong/ignorant they are. Understand that they come from a completely different time than you, and things were 100% different then. Even though time has changed, they still know very important stuff, and have reasoning for their knowledge and that can be very valuable to you or me.

- Volkswagen's are the indie car to own apparently. I never NOT see a hot guy driving those cars. Subaru imprezas are the hot rich dude cars.

God damn I would fuck the shit out of that car.

- I have been known to work for massages and food. I don't mind bargaining for goods.

- I saw a documentary last week on dumpster diving. I would not have any shame grabbing perfectly good packaged free range meat from a dumpster. I wouldn't, however, do it for something that wasn't organically grown cause lets face it, that shit is usually better off in a dumpster anyways.

- I don't understand why people get so surprised that drinking gets increasingly more popular around the holiday season. ITS THE FUCKING HOLIDAY SEASON! ALCOHOL IS EVERYWHERE. Does that make me an alcoholic? FUCK NO. I blame society for creating the holiday season so fucking close together anyways. It's their fault I drink so often at the end of the year.


- I don't smoke pot (or anything for that matter). I don't suggest it, but if you do already casually do it... I don't give a shit as long as its not effecting your ability to actually function as a human being. In fact, I might actually prefer someone to smoke pot rather than cigarettes for obvious reasons.

- I'll try anything once, as long as its not anal.



- And seriously? don't force me to try anal. Do people get off on that seriously? I mean I know people get off on anal but If I tell you "this doesn't feel good, I am not going to like it" why would you beg me to still try it? that makes me think your a sick fuck for not only liking anal sex but for getting off on my discomfort.

- I know I make a big deal about anal sex, its not really the worst thing in sex to try and I give it a hard time all the time.. sorry anal sex, you literally get the shit end of the stick.



- You have a responsibility to be at work on time if not early for your shift. If you are accident prone you should avoid being a shitty coworker by working out all your kinks before your shift.

- Don't take responsibility for things that clearly are not your responsibility. Don't be afraid to let a nigga know when its time for them to step up. If you don't people will use you like a door mat and that shit is not cool.

- Don't be afraid, fear breeds mistakes.

- I hate how most older men are completely Jewish with their money. I always see older men give their wives the third degree when spending money on something that's important. Of course the other side to that could be that their wives spend too much money usually, so... yeah...

- Don't re-hire people. There really isn't a need for it unless they left because of school and have now finished their degree.

- Question, I know Obama hasn't done shit for this country really but do you really HONESTLY think that that other asshole McCain would've been better? REALLY? I MEAN FUCKING REALLY?

- I try not to get into a political debate with anyone because no one is right about any of that shit. For fucks sake not even our own government knows what the fucks up...

- Nothing is going to get easier. You always have to work harder for the things you want. In doing so, you will be rewarded depending on how much effort your put into something.

- I fucking... cannot stand (with passion) when someone has the audacity to ask you for favors, and then in the slightest case you ask for one simple favor, they make the biggest deal out of it as if you just kicked them off a cliff. Well I fucking wish I had if your going to pull this shit.

- I fucking suck at remembering things. I have accepted that. What sucks about that is that when someone fucks me over, or does something that makes me think "next time I'm going to be a complete fucking asshole to them" time will go by and I'll most likely completely forget why I need to be angry at this person and because I forget, I can't force myself to be angry because what happens if they ask me why I am mad? "I.... I forgot! I just know that I'm supposed to be mad!" Yeah that sounds real legit.

- note to self: Keep a "Reasons to be angry at _____" book.



- A muffin top is not more commonly known in reference to a woman's mons pubis. A "Foopa" however, Is

- Also... for people who don't know.. the trending thing to do now is to bleach your asshole. This isn't to bleach the hair around the anus. That would be completely fucking pointless (why anal bleaching is important anyways is beyond me, I think people are just trying to find new ways to blow cash) its supposed to lighten the skin around the anus. Just an FYI in case anyone ever asks you.

- What were your regrets for 2011? and don't say "I don't have any regrets" cause you and I both know that's a bullshit line.

- Were friends because I like talking shit to your face instead of behind your back. I think I have enough balls to tell you whats up, and I think that's something to admire 



- Seniority used to matter but now its just about who can open their mouth or have the better excuse.

- If anything you are doing does not get increasingly better by listening to city and colour then something is seriously wrong with you... you should see a doctor.

Doctor: "So what is the problem Miss Hendricks?"
Me: "Um... Nothing I do gets better when I listen to city and colour"
Doctor: "This is serious."



- A dude told me once "You really think you can find someone better than me?" so I took both of his t.vs and his play station 3 and sold that shit on craigslist. 

- I don't think its wise to ass fuck a girls heart that has more dude friends than you ever will in your entire existence.

 One day.

- Have I ever broke into an ex boyfriends house to get the remainder of my shit? I think the real question here is "Did you ever get your shit back from an ex" and let me tell you... a consolidated skateboard and a bunch of dreamcast video games are more important to me than a broken door or window so.. yea.. I did get my shit back. Does it count if I have a key? no. It doesn't. Technically... I was just getting my stuff... that he had in his possession.. which makes him a thief, and thief's don't deserve a working door or window.. cause what do thief's really deserve? nothing In my opinion... so... no.. I haven't technically. ever. broken in someones house. to get my shit.


If this entry didn't make your Monday better, then this song will.. 

Also check out my new years video.



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