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Monday, January 30, 2012

so rude!

- Someone needs to make an "option to skip" button for Monday's

- I really can't stand food scents on people. People who wear cotton candy perfume or apple cider cologne are fucking nasty.

- The toughest thing in life is saying goodbye to something you don't want to say goodbye to.

- My grandma is always telling me "You better take something from me or else you wont have anything to remember me by" I always reply with "I have memories and that's enough for me" mainly because I don't have room for her couch in my room or her vanity but there is also another point to this. I think as humans we hold on way too tight to material shit. 

- I hate when people don't respect your personal space. I don't need you to hover over me when I'm reading or eating. Seriously, am I THAT fucking interesting? 

- I also think its extremely rude for someone to snap or clap to get your attention when you are on the phone. What are you 5? Wait till I'm done dick face. 

- I hate feeling spiteful or hatred towards someone. Not because they don't deserve it or anything but more because if someone did something that fucked up to me, then I shouldn't even give them the decency of feeling anything towards them. 

- We rely too much on time.

- You are the creator of your life. You build your own roads and decide on where to go. Don't go down a road based on how well it will suit someone else because in the end you will feel like a failure because of it. 

- There is a difference between being a nice/caring person and bending over backwards for someone. being nice and caring is acceptable and a nice act of kindness. Bending over backwards shows you are a kiss ass or whooped and that is fucking pathetic.

- People will be people and in case you didn't know, people are fuckers, unreliable and assholes so don't be surprised. 

- I've realized that pathological liars are the most easiest liars to figure out because they lie about the most asinine shit like how their dog suddenly grew wings and was able to fly.

- Here is how you know someones weird. If they like weird shit, then they are weird people. This is completely depending on the person who is judging. For example... If someone says "I don't like the consistency of hamburgers" I'm personally going to think you are weird and was probably force fed hamburgers as a child, BUT if this person said this to a vegetarian or a vegan or someone who also didn't like the consistency of hamburgers then maybe they wouldn't looks so weird. 

in all honesty, you're fucking weird if you don't like hamburgers... 

- I feel like people that constantly have plumbers butt know their ass crack is showing and they just like the breeze it gets when their pants are semi-down. Since I'm positive this is the case, PLEASE... DO THAT SHIT ON YOUR OWN TIME NOT IN PUBLIC. 

- OH look at you.. so cool and hip because you don't use razors or wax your fucking bohemian ass hair. You want a gold coin for being the hairiest woman alive? NO!  YOU WONT! WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND! 

- Penises are like a wide variety of GI-JOE characters.  

- If you made the decision to have children then you have voluntarily signed the "It's time to grow up" form. Seriously, no one forced you to have kids, and they definitely didn't ask you to be born so fucking man up and take responsibility for your fucking sperm/eggs  

- If you are worried because you might "lose your job" get the fuck over it dude... its just a fucking job. 

- I wish I had more children in my life because their definitions for certain words are fucking hilarious. 

- I also can't tell the future. I know it may seem like it can because I can read people very well, and I am usually always right, but that's just because I'm smart. Not because I have some 6th sense.

- Sometimes I wonder if I'm just REALLY mature for my age or everyone else around me in the same age group are a bunch of fucking morons and I'm actually at the right mental stand point for my age.

- When someone brags about how many millions of years they've had in experience in some kind of trade or what have you, the only way you can tell for sure is how many fucked up stories they have from being in that trade for so god damned long. If they don't have any, then run far away.

- If a company can't function with out you, then you have done your job right.

Me and my best friend.. yep.

- There is a time and place for everything and your timing is WAY off if you think now's the time to tell me you have some weird ball dropping disorder or droopy penis skin inflammation. 

- JUST BECAUSE a dude asks you for your number and wants to hang out doesn't mean hes interested.......... right?

- Here is how you know someone is trying to be a dick to you, and only you... Try minding your own business and show minimal interest in ANYTHING they have to say or do and see how upset they get at you. If I didn't give a fuck about your weekend last week what makes you think I fucking give a shit now? 

- I can't read minds, I just cant.. I don't know what gave you the impression that I do, but just so we're clear... I DON'T READ MINDS. 

- Would you really be that upset if you died while having an orgasm? 

- Yeah... I talk about sex... a lot... you say it like its a bad thing... 

- I think the wrong way to react to a compliment is to say "I know... fucking duh" 

- The rules are simple.. if you're nice to me.. I'm nice to you.
If your an asshole to me.. I'm an asshole to you
If you really suck in bed, I'm going to be as equally bad...
I'm like a human mirror.

- I'm gonna say it because maybe I'm the only one with balls enough to fucking admit it but drawn on eyebrows are fucking... terrible. JUST FUCKING TERRIBLE unless you are a cross dresser or in some kind of costume show... STOP IT..

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