emilyisasecret facebookemilyisasecret twitteremilyisasecret youtubeemilyisasecret flickremilyisasecret tumblremilyisasecret formspring

Monday, January 9, 2012

strip club.

- I hate how Robert pattenson laughs..

- If you are doubting something for good reason, then don't be afraid to fight. I mean fight for what you believe in. You have one life, and it wasn't meant to be stepped on by people you think matter.

- For every time you ask yourself "Why did he leave?" you MUST respond with "Because someone better is on their way"

- If you find yourself crying at night and want to stop, just look in the mirror. Its a known fact that any human being WILL stop crying, I just can't face myself being that pathetic.

- Don't bend over backwards for those people you barely know. It is good to be a good person but good people are easy to take advantage of and if you are eager to please so quickly sometimes people will take advantage of that.

- Its a new year people so lets do things... new things... we didn't do last year okay?

- Anyone who enjoys drinking bubble tea MUST enjoy swallowing cum CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT FUCKING TASTES LIKE.

- Second chances are allowed... because you WANT to give yourself the satisfaction that this person indefinitely will or will not change.... all that bull shit about "third times a charm" and "third strike your out" should be erased from this metaphor completely. You are officially a moron if you give someone a third chance because the second chance is when you should've realized that this person can change or not.

- When someone acts like they are infatuated by you but then change their attitude after you have finally let your wall down... Don't get discouraged... Just build the wall up harder and taller.

- Um... I love how you lie to me like... all the fucking time... I know you are doing it.. Its just fun to see how much of a fucking moron you think I am.

- You will lose her by the second every second you leave her waiting for a response for anything.

- You can't use the excuse "I was busy at work" when you have numerous times before texted me while you are at work.

- My last meal before I die will be bacon. Loads of bacon.

- I am not above hacking into someones facebook to read messages and shit. I am above it when there was no real reason to do this in the first place. learn the difference.

- I am actually legitly shocked at katy perry and russle brand getting a divorce 

- Don't get discouraged when things don't pan out the way you expected. Shit happens.

- The most important person in your life is YOU. Not anyone else, unless you have children. In that case, your children come before anyone else, even yourself. But for the most part, YOU are the most important person. I'm not saying that other people aren't important, but if you find that you are making your needs less important because of another person, you need to stop right there and put things back in their place. YOU first, THEM second. 

- Don't let anyone belittle you because you may have said or done something stupid. You are human, and you make mistakes. That is no excuse for someone to belittle anyone. 

- You are not allowed to wish/whine for a successful relationship/marriage when you are the sole reason for your own relationship/marriage failing. You don't get a second chance.

- If there is something you want to do, then do it. There is no limit to accomplishments. I understand most of these things take money, and money is hard to come by, but you only live once... and 2012 is all about the accomplishments.

- You aren't fucking cool because you deactivated your facebook account.. in about a month or two you will reactivate it again and look like a complete fucking asshole. 

- Don't rely on the regular weight chart you find online to determine whether you are over/under weight, ask your physician personally because everyone has a different body, which means not everyone needs the same result.

- I think its common courtesy to shave your pussy before going to the gynecologist. Also, if you can, take a baby wipe with you just to wipe yourself down that might be a little nice too. 

- Don't be afraid to ask your Doctor questions, and Don't fucking lie on your questioner either. Patient confidentiality is an oath Doctors take, so let them know your a slut. They will be the only ones that know... and trust me.. they've heard worse.

- I am not completely against plastic surgery. I think if its going to make you happy, then fucking do it.

- I understand that no one really intends on hurting someone, but I think you know what your doing, when you're doing it then there is no reason NOT to tell someone the truth. So don't make me think I am the crazy one for confronting you about being a complete fucking asshole.

- Want to know how I know your full of shit? because I fucking LISTEN and when you are fucking up.. I'll know about it... Everyone around may ignore it or is just too fucking stupid to tell.. but not this girl... no WHAY.

- I bum off of my best friends netflix because.... I'm poor.. I feel bad because all the movie suggestions now are "demonic cult 1980's horror movies" but she can suck my dick. That's not the point of this statement anyways, the point is if you have netflix you know that they have specific genres of movies. I noticed recently that there is a "gay/lesbian" genre...

Then I thought, well what if there was a "African American" movie selection? 

Then I thought... what kind of movies are white people into? Can we even have a movie genre?

Then I watched more B-rated horror movies and that was the end of that tangent.

- Do people suffering from depression feel happiness when a doctor finally tells them they are in fact suffering from depression or do they just sit there and sulk? because its got to feel good to know that there is something that a doctor can do for you... right?

- I don't believe in depression being a disease or something people can actually suffer from. I just think people some times have shitty moments in life that suck and they just have to deal.

- I do eventually want kids but I have this... terrible feeling that my body is going to go to complete shit after I push out a baby, and not that I have worked very hard for this body, I just don't want it to get any worse than it already is. 

- Babies are cute as fuck though.

- I want to know why its so hard to text someone? I mean I know its not hard for me personally but it seems like the most strenuous task for others. I just want to know why?

- Also... I need to let all the bearded dudes in the surrounding Miami areas that I am available for consultation.

- Just because you offer services that are useful to me doesn't mean I'll blow you for free services... I have class asshole. Your lucky I like you.

- One day I am going to learn how to stick up for myself. I don't do it now because I really hate confrontation but sometimes you just have to hit a bitch.

- Don't spend your whole life in one city.

- You cannot deny that fucking raw is the best feeling in the entire universe. I don't condone it, but if you are in a tight relationship with respect and trust... by all means... heh - http://solehiphop.com/

- Do not ignore warning signs. I know that bitch is cool as fuck and hot as shit but you will be deemed the stupid one if you ignore any warning signs. 

- I have a lot of friends I keep around just to see what happens to them. It's a lot like a really bad movie, that you continue to watch only to see how much worse it can get.

- "If you are out there worried about catching an STD with the person you fuckin... you shouldn't be fuckin that person period"  http://solehiphop.com/

- A person who lets a dog/cat suffer because they are too lazy to get out of bed is a person that needs to be punished painfully.

- A person who feeds you a bunch of fucking bullshit because it sounds good at the time needs to be fed a bunch of actual bull shit... like from an actual bulls ass.

- A person who lies about their penis size deserves to be laughed at when its finally revealed.


  1. Oh The Mighty Boosh, how I miss thee.

    I laughed and agreed with most of these statements, but I would encourage you to read a little about why depression occurs. Being a psychology major I find it really interesting, you may as well. It's a fairly complicated interaction between a preexisting genetic disposition, stressful life events, and an increase of certain neurotransmitters. It's quite sciencey.

  2. I dont doubt it exists... but I still look at it how i would probably look at a unicorn...