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Monday, April 23, 2012

system meltdown

- If you are going to get a flat tire, it's usually going to be on a Monday.

- Scum... it's out there...

- I view relationships the same way I view video games. The longer you play the more achievements you get.

-Just chill out when you are freaking out. About 80% of the time it's over really dumb shit and if you just take a second to breath you'll realize how pointless it was.

- Hey.. if you really mattered... then you would matter.

- I don't deal with this rule bullshit very well. I just like things to happen the way they will with out me having to worry about whens the right time.

- Here is something awesome. If you're a dude and you eat pancakes or french toast or anything that requires syrup, the after taste lingers on your lips (this only happens if you have a beard, assuming you are a man and not a boy, then you probably know it is required to have one in order to be considered a man) which leaves a sweet surprise for me, or any other lady that might come across those lips.

- With this being said, breakfast is acceptable at anytime of the day 

- Also if you prefer soggy bacon, we can't be friends because you make poor decisions in life.

- One of the worst feelings in the world is wanting something so bad but not getting to have it, even when its so close you can taste it.

- Noise. It's important, because silence is scary to anyone. Noise, depending on the sound, can help someone know if something is displeasing or satisfying.

- I don't like having to ask to do something, I also just like it when a guy can do what he wants to me with the exception of sticking something in my ass

- Here is how dumb girls are. Your dick could be hard as fuck in her hand, and she's still thinking "Do I look sexy right now?" or "Does he think I'm pretty?" of course he thinks your sexy, look at his penis. But that's not the point, the point is if you like whats going on, don't be afraid to tell us. Girls like to know, even though it is deathly apparent, that you are enjoying this sexual experience. This doesn't always have to be a sexual thing either. We are usually always wondering if we are good enough, its a female flaw and I hate that it happens, but it does so I can't help it. If you like the kiss, tell us. If you like the folded laundry, tell us.

- You cannot race an M3 with a stock scion. You just can't...

- Once a dude took me on a first date through a car wash, and although I like being outside of the box, this is a little too outside of the box... So to better help you dudes, acceptable date spots/ideas are the following:

* The airport, at night preferably, to watch planes land.
* Picnic, cause that shit is romantic and cute
* star gazing is old school as fuck and all the hipsters like vintage shit like that. Plus.. bitches love stars.
* Out door movie theaters
* The beach or lake. 

- Everyone always says "you gotta love yourself before someone else can begin to love you" and maybe this is true for those crazy depressed people that do nothing but mope all day but I'm here to say that's not always the case, as a matter of fact I'd like to think that usually about 10% of the problem. I just think that it sometimes takes someone else to love you in order for you to see what you really bring to the table. Sometimes it takes another person to see whats inside us to help us see it too.

- Stop torturing yourself! If there is a scum bag in your life then get rid of them dude.. you're better than that.

 If you hate Mondays as much as I do then you should buy one of these, cause I did.

- It's human nature to want sex. You cannot deny that or hold that against me.. especially if you are dangling it right in front of me with a string.

- I wont say I'm a bad friend because lets face it... I'm pretty cool. But I do have a bad habit of keeping in touch with my friends, I think that's just a life lesson I was never taught as a child. I'm just saying that because certain friends don't call you daily.. or weekly.. or monthly it doesn't meant you don't linger in their thoughts or that they aren't thankful for you.

- Because of this I make phone calls are absurd times of the night....

- I didn't know this until recently but "Thank you" cards are nice at anytime during the whole fucking year.

-I think every dude has some weird fetish no one knows about because it seems that the people I seem to think I know everything about are the biggest freaks on this planet.

- "Okay......." = Somethings wrong and you have to dig to find out

- Everyone is just looking for someone to take care of them whether it be financially or emotionally.

- If you are married then it becomes a little uncalled for when you tell a random girl shes beautiful

- Seriously though, can someone please give me a good reason to put up with a douche bag?

- You can't expect something meaningful to come out of meaningless sex.

- A girl will "forget" to take her pill just so she can trap you and have your child. A dude would NEVER do some fucked up shit like that

- Some people will always be bullies/assholes and unfortunately some of those people will be rich and famous.

- There's no sex in violence

- "Emily he asked me for gum when he was already chewing gum. I'm like, you don't know me well enough to offer me gum! needless to say.. I'm not very interested"

- People who open their doors at stop lights to spit outside are fucking disgusting. If I see you open your door, I want it to be because you are going to vomit and cannot for what ever reason keep that projectile vomit inside of your mouth you gross fuck.

- If you have an over sized tail on your car, you are officially a moron. Who ever told you that was a good idea lied so they could laugh in your expense. Get rid of it, I'm serious... you don't fly a jet.. you drive a fucking dodge neon.

- Apparently getting your work done in a shorter amount of time means you actually aren't working well, it means you need more work to finish..

- You have no self respect if when you continue the relationship that does nothing but damage your ability to shine.

This is a sneak from my last shoot!

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