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Monday, April 16, 2012

This will be the death of me..

- Any day, other than Monday, that I wake up in the morning and feel like shit I always tell myself "at least it's not Monday"

- I don't know if asking permission is really necessary for certain things but my point is it's polite and respectful.

- If you and I are friends then the content in this blog has nothing to do with you, It's just for your enjoyment.

- Unless they are a professional liar, it is super easy to figure out if someone is up to something shady.

- Most girls require 3 things in a significant other and while every one is different I can tell you some things that may be high on their list.

. Goals/Ambition
. Confidence
. Sarcasm/Humor
. Security

I also think that it is sexy as fuck when a dude has his shit together. I mean that they are on some type of road that leads to somewhere. When you are young, that shit doesn't matter because you are in school and don't give a fuck about roads but when you are older, its a nice luxury to date a dude that isn't.... stuck.... in.... something.

- People can change. Just like every story is true to a certain extent.

- I don't always pray but when I do its more of like a conversation. When you know someones going through a rough time, its polite to say that they are in your your thoughts or prayers even if they really aren't

- Girls love when a dude can beat them to the punch. In this day and age girls have grown accustom to douchery. Not that you are in any way shape or form a douche, it's just a little unfair that someone should get "used to" a giant wanker of a dude.

listen this works in your favor really. Girls do not expect a dude to call, or open doors for her anymore. That doesn't mean you don't need to do it, it means you should. It means when you ask a girl out to coffee, she already has it in her head to get their early so she can get her own coffee, which means you need to be a step ahead and get their before she does and buy her coffee before she even gets into her car to meet you there. Why? because this is what makes you so fucking bad ass.. because you'd be the first dude to ever beat her to the punch and that is "wow" factor #10.

- Unexpected anything makes things exciting and keeps us on our toes but this really only applies to "normal" things.. which means I won't like a surprise dildo somewhere its not supposed to be.

- I think a dudes ability to grow facial hair shows how masculine he is. Some dudes just fucking can't.. and I question those dudes seriously. Honestly, ruggedness is a sign of masculinity... it shows a dude can handle shit like an axe and bears and what more could a girl ask for then someone with an axe who tames bears? seriously....


- People always say "don't judge a book by its cover" but why the fuck not? those people willing made the choice to wear that outfit today.. and this day and age everything is directed to visual marketing. It literally teaches us to judge visually. So yeah... that saying needs to be trashed.

- People also say "trust is earned" but I really personally think that's only in cases where someones done something to damage it to begin with. Trust, however, can be built on top of what is already there to help fortify its strength. And though I don't personally count "trust" to be number 1 in the "relationship must" it is a very important building block. To fortify trust you need communication. Communication feeds trust. Sure I don't need to know you avoided a girl today that was giving you the eye but the fact that you told me has fed my trust fund for you, and that makes me happy.

- What stinks is when some dick puts your boss in a bad mood but only had to deal with him for like 15 minutes and you have the whole rest of 8 hours to put up with it.

- Don't make promises (no matter how big or small) if you are likely to break them. That sounds simple but I still have people fucking my shit up.

let me make this even easier for you
When you tell me you are going to call me, I'm going to take your word for it. So when you don't, you look like a giant dick and I will never take you seriously again.

because people who don't follow through with their promises are finicky and finicky people suck dick.

- Don't be afraid of sticking up for something you know is wrong, just be 100% it is in fact wrong.

- Does age matter? I don't know how to accurately answer this question because I know a lot of "adults" that act like they just graduated high school and I know some highschoolers that are more mature then some of my friends that have children and a house. 

- Insecurity is unflattering on anyone but we all know that everyone is insecure about something. The point is to act like you aren't in public. That shit is lame.

- If someone says you work well under presser it means you are a fantastic procrastinator.

- I think all the sex toy websites should ship their shit in discrete boxes. I don't want to have to explain to someone why I bought something from sex-toysRus

- Oxymoron = when someone brags about what they used to have.

- I do the most daydreaming when I'm driving which is bad because that's when someone should pay attention the most.

- I do think that a guy should be the breadwinner in any relationship. That may sound super old fashion and I totally don't mean that you should pay for some bitch to sit on her ass all day or pay for shit all the time. I just mean that it should always be an option when it comes to a dude. This means, mentally every guy should want to take care of a woman and his family. Now there's a difference between wanting and actually doing.. So to be clear, every guy should want to have the giant cock in his relationship and the only way you can do that is if you handle everything personally and financially.

- By the same token a girl shall NEVER take advantage of that.

dudes here's how you can tell that your girl is taking advantage of your shit
(because we all know no bitch is going to willingly admit she's using someone)

- You pay all of her bills
- You clothe her and feed her
- You clothe and feed her pets.
- She finds even simple home tasks too hard to finish in time before you get home from work
- You are always paying for shit.
- She rarely offers to pay or do anything in your favor.

Brother, did you forget your name? Did you lose it on the wall playing TIC-TAC-TOE?

- I like to believe that when someone dies god not only flashes their life in front of them but they also allow them to see the reason for every fucked up or questionable person that ever came in their life. In other words we understand why things panned out the way they did.

- I hate how I involuntarily become a fucking moron when I am talking to someone attractive. I might as well just start drooling while I am at it.

- You know you have a crush on someone when you go out of your way to download a horoscope app to check your compatibility.

She put on happiness like a loose dress
Over pain I'll never know
"So the peace you had," she said,
"I must confess, I'm glad to see it go."

P.S I have a new section coming to this blog this week on Wednesday and MELIFICENT was my first!  
Here is a sneak! 


  1. Visual overload! I love owls. I want the one in the .gif.
    Your picture of Meli w/ her babies is so cute. I loved the theme of the shoot.

    I'm having a GIVEAWAY - drop by :)
    The Fashionable ESQ

  2. Can I meet you for coffee? I'll make sure to be there to not only hand you a cup when you get there, but also to hold the door for you :)