- I can't afford to have people that don't give a shit about anything in my life.
- Just because you think you're good at pretending to be innocent doesn't mean I wont notice. In case you didn't know, I notice everything.
- I understand girls because I am one, but It would take me a life time to explain why we do the things we do. So to make it short and sweet, we are way too emotional and we read into everything for no fucking reason. Most of us are crazy, some are not but there's a 95% chance you will end up with a crazy girl.
- Do pick up lines "I like that bra color on you but I'd rather it on my floor" really work? Where are you getting this material bro...
- The size of someones penis can effect their personality greatly.
- You give a little and you get it back, It goes around like that.
- In case you think you missed something! This is what we've been reduced to:
- I think if you are feeling something you should say it because I'm not a fucking mind reader.
- There is no good reason to tattoo your own name on your neck. It can't be to identify your badly fucked body that burned in a fire because I highly doubt your neck will indefinitely survive. P.s thats what dog tags are for.. and if you're THAT fucking serious about being Identified... I think you should get some.
When has someone ever said "Its a good thing his name was on his neck, other wise... he wouldeve been fucked..."
- "It fills me with murderous rage when people think their car horn doubles as a door bell and sit beeping it in my neighborhood."
- F.Y.I when a person you are sexually/romantically interested gives you the option to decided if they should keep in contact with an ex or not.. always choose for them to NOT stay in contact. Don't feel bad about it either because there's no good reason to keep exs as friends anyways.
- Guess what makes you a trendy asshole? Not having a facebook or any sort of social networking site. Doesn't make you cool... just makes you weird.
- If ever you are confused about a friendship/relationship give yourself a dead line. 2 weeks should do it. Bet me you won't have an answer by then about what you should do.
Funny texts between friends and I:
- I don't really understand why people who get divorced get married for a second time to someone else. It's like you already failed, what are you trying to prove? At that point you should just give up and have the same mediocre "relationships" the rest of us do. Face it bro, you are not marriage material.
- Is there really a point to decaffeinated coffee?
- You become a self centered bitch when you re-tweet everyones birthday wish to you. Who the fuck does that? Why do I need to know you have people that you've never met saying happy birthday? Truth is, I don't bitch... I know... it hurts doesnt it...
- Also, I don't follow back people that have more than 1000 followers. Why? because I like to feel important.. and after 100 twitterers, all my shit's gonna get lost.. and thats not fair.
- Question: Would it piss you off more if someone told you "I'm not following you anymore because I can't stand what you have to say" or if someone just stopped following you and didn't say anything? I can't make up my mind.. it would piss me off both ways but at least option one is honest.