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Monday, August 27, 2012

Good morning..



- I guess its that time again.. where we all meet at a closing to this shitty ass Monday.

- First off, a word of advice... lets not fuck with the girl that's bleeding from her vagina... kay?

- My time is far too valuable to be waiting on someone to realize what they are looking for this whole time is right in front of them.

Don'tcha just hate when that happens?

- If you hear someone say "I got a degree in meteorology" What they are really trying to say is they went to professional clown school.

- Fuck what other people think.

- If a branch falls on my car its not because I wasn't being careful.. its because a branch fell on my car.


- You either love hard or go home. pussy.

- You will NEVER be disappointed in yourself if you have done everything in your power.

- When I ask for advice from my bible buddy friends it always revolves around God/Jesus Christ. Which in the grand scheme of things may be true, but just because it's true doesn't mean its going to make me feel better.

I never feel better. Only more misled.

- How much could you give knowing the favor will NEVER be returned?

- I think it's time for you to be happy.. don't you think it's time for you to be happy?



- At some point you have to ask yourself why you're even in this fucking relationship if you spend the majority of the time unhappy..

- I do know one thing (a few things actually) and that one thing is it doesn't take someone 2 years to figure out if they are in love or not.. If you're at 2 years still confused about your feelings then you need to seriously re-evaluate your relationship. At that point you're just wasting your partners time and THAT'S fucked up.

- Maybe you're having a bad day, I get it... but apologize for being a dick after.

- Is it bad that I want to be difficult to some people who are normally difficult to me on a regular basis?

- People will sometimes say "no" just to say "no" because they can for whatever reason.

- I'm scared of what marriage holds for me or anyone else I care about. Marriage means "life time" for me but I don't think it means that way to anyone else.. so it seems.

- Maybe he's right. Shit, I planned on raising my kids that way anyway but I do think that eventually over time... the bible will be a fossil..

That doesn't mean I'm atheist. It just means that that book will be severely outdated in a hundred years.

- Don't die.

- I take my friendships seriously. So much so that I'll deny any "new comer" my hand. I do that because I just don't have enough room in my heart for everyone. With that being said... this is why its so easy for me to drop you. I got a line outside yo... my milkshake... it's good.



- You're gonna lose it if you don't choose it.

- NEVER give someone the power to take away your happiness.

- Saying "you don't look your age" is not a compliment people. Either I look too young, which is weird... or I look too old.. which isn't that great either.

- I never understood why people who smoke cigarettes get breaks but the people who don't smoke... never get any breaks...

- Truth is a lot of shit doesn't make sense. There will be times where you will just have to scratch your head at some of the things you see people doing.

BUT

if you can read people easily,  that should cut your confusion in half.

- IF my music is loud.. it means I don't want to be bothered. 



- Don't have a billion abortions. If you catch yourself in this predicament you should probably get your fallopian tubes cauterized.

- How come more dudes don't enjoy watching scary movies... I guess that was one thing I got wrong as a child.. Whatever at least I still like Will Ferrel movies and video games.. 



- Is this how you pictured this relationship panning out? I mean, when you were dating about the perfect person, was this what you thought? cause if so I'm never trusting your judgment again.

- The news tells you to stay inside, then that's what you do. Unless...


you're a rebel.

- You sure can tear a lot of shit apart for someone that has no idea how to put it back together.

- No one shits where they sleep. Except you... that makes you a pig.

- That moment you wake up from this shitty shitty dream.

- I want to meet the dudes that create sing-a-longs for children. Song's that help them remember to wash their hands or brush their teeth. The kind that you hear on sesame street, because those dudes definitely look at their glass half full

- It's hard for me not to say "I know" when someone tells me they love something of mine.

- You can lead a horse to water but you can't make em drink it.

- Sometimes you gotta bleed to know you're alive.

- I blame Disney for all this fantasy bullshit that runs through a females head. Shit ain't even real... They are cartoons! #getreal

- Falling out of love is easy when you're paired with a shitty partner.

- Every time I watch the news I frequently think "I wonder if they will find his badly mutilated, shark bitten body washed ashore..."... that's how much I hate you.


p.s listen to this or die.. okay you won't die but listen please!

1 comment:

  1. is that one of Melissa's dogs at the end there?? too funny!! i think i would pee myself if i saw that in person!!!!

    ReplyDelete