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Monday, November 12, 2012

Be my bait

Seeing these dudes this month. definite Monday status.

- Never give someone an ounce of kindness if they have taken advantage of it in the past. If you have been nice to someone who doesn't appreciate it.. or doesnt even notice it in the first place.. then allow those people to go fuck themselves.

- People who say "It's not what it looks like" tend to always be doing what it looks like...

- I can never be friends with dudes that have similar personalities to mine.. I always start developing crushes... and then people get hurt...

- You are not the smartest person in the world if you attend one seminar.

- Just because 1 person is doing it.. doesn't mean you HAVE to.

- If a woman likes sex, it doesn't make her a whore or a slut. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous is what makes her a slut. Does that make sense? NO IT FUCKING DOESNT. You're a dirty slut and I don't care.

- If you ever say "I'm a lady. You can bring me home to momma, but I'm a freak in the sheets" I will murder you with a fork.  You aren't a lady if you can actually say that out loud. It sounds like you're saying "I'm a dumb ass, I'm a dumb ass"

- Ever meet someone who fabricated a story so much that it pretty much became a lie? I have.. they exist... you're warned.

- Don't get all bent out of shape if you have a little dick bro. Giant dick is not what makes the world go round... trust me on that shit.

- Look... good looks are not what makes and breaks the start of a decent relationship. There are other factors too.. factors like... Personality? transportation? job? hair? muscles? muscles to body fat ratio? skin complexion? smell? Height? Fingers?

Seriously.. we are analyzing everything.. not just how ugly you are...

- People who do nothing but say "It's my luck" deserve a punch in the dick. Seriously, between the ages of 0-18 you can't do dick with your life but after 18, there are no excuses. You don't like where you're at? change it... don't let your "luck" have anything to do with it.

-  There are people in this world who are waiting for someone to come along to change their life. If you ever hear someone say that... run far away from their lazy ass...

- You can't call some thing a rule if it was never made in the first place.. which is why I tell everyone I date, cheating is NOT allowed. It doesn't mean they always listen, but I can always say "I told you dude" 

- I envy the people that have time for hobbies.

- Booty calls happen after 10pm. Someone's asking you to come over at that time.. they want sex... and they want you to leave in the morning.

- People who say "Thats too scary" need to grow the fuck up. If you are over the age of 13 and still not watching movies because they are "too scary" then you need to get out of your little Disney box, and grow some actual balls.

- People who say "I don't watch tv... I have better things to do" make me want to uppercut an eagle. It's all of a sudden really fucking cool now not to know what is going on... ever...

- In the real world, people with real problems, real issues... still have a job...

- People will never learn the value of a dollar until they start paying for shit with their own money.

- People love crazy. It's built in our genes and no matter how much you try and deny it, take a look at your past... Ultimately, the "Good" people you are looking for will be far too boring for your tastes.

Here is the wrong way to go about any conversation:

"I'm just tired of the bullshit"
"Me too thats why I want to fuck you.. You know what it sounds like? like you need a good fuckin, lets fuck.. will you let me fuck you? please let me put my dick in you..."

You need science.

 - Take apart your head.... Chew it up and swallow it... 

- Expect nothing, receive all the joy.

- "I WANT MY TAX MONEY TO GO TO SOMEONE WHO WILL KNOW HOW TO USE IT!" - Someone that clearly has no idea how to spend their own money.

- Sex addiction is a real thing ya'll

- One thing I hate happening: When someone catches me taking a picture of myself.. HAWKWARD

- Just because you say "I'm grown up" doesn't mean you are. You're not a fucking magician. If it worked that way I would be living on a mountain somewhere with a really hot bearded dude. Saying something doesn't = actual fact. There's a lot more you have to do then just simply saying a sentence. You have to have something to show for it too.

p.s if you are still worried about getting your shit together, then you aren't grown up. You're just lost.

- Everyone is stuck in a ditch. Some peoples ditches are deeper than others but you don't need to worry about that... why? becuase you are in this ditch alone nigga.

- who the fuck is "One direction"?

"Don't feed me scraps from your bed, I won't be the stray coming back just to be fed"

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