- I don't know whats everyone's obsession with anchor tattoos, as they symbolize to weigh you down.. which is usually something negative...
- How about when people get drunk they become the opposite of who they usually are, so never invite the quiet goofy type...
- If someone says you have had enough to drink.. you should listen to them..
- I will never understand the concept of someone enjoying pain whether its emotional or physical.
- To second that, assume that everyone who likes physical pain must enjoy emotional pain and vice versa.
- There's a line that anyone can cross. Anyone can mean someone you love dearly. In this case, letting go can be very difficult. You have understand that this is YOUR life.. and living uncomfortable is a really annoying way to live...
- I was right by the way... waiting for exactly what you want is so worth it.
- You should be able to tell your best friend anything with out their being conflict.. if you can't do that then something is very wrong.
- People continue to surprise me.. I don't know if that's because I always expect the worst or that good people really do exist.
- People will think up the craziest excuses to justify a really stupid
action. So just know that if you hear a crazy excuse.. its probably
because they did something stupid.
- If ever you can't explain the reasoning behind someone elses actions, just tell yourself "I guess some people just work differently"
- So I just have to say that I threw a party this weekend. It was a mustache party
Yeah I'm awesome, but that's not the point... the point is NEVER PAY FOR MUSTACHES AT PARTY CITY! you can buy sticky felt paper from any art store and it works just as great... and they are only a dollar...
fuck yeah
- Every girl keeps an extra pregnancy test just like every dude carries an extra condom where ever he goes.
- Which is better: To have a really long orgasm or to have multiple orgasms...
- I've noticed that there are 2 things my friends judge to base on whether or not someone is a good mate or not for themselves or their friends... These 2 things are their looks and their ability to fuck..
- If you can't kick whats bad for you then you deserve whats coming to you.
- There are times when I see people post the most melodramatic bullshit on the internet and it takes every fiber of my being not to say some asshole remark.. and yeah I could unfriend them, or make it so their stupid shit doesn't pop up in my feed but then how else will they learn that being like that is bad form?
- Personally I like the closeness of sex. What I mean by that is I like the type of deep penetration that feels almost like you are grinding on eachother. That is a quality mate right there... We aren't fucking turtles... we are sexual beings... make this shit a show.. I want the audience to clap afterwards...
- And just so its clear... I would never date someone that didn't know how to make it a damn good show...
- Just because it looks like I'm not busy doesn't mean its time to give me a task.. You want something done then do it yourself.. I got my own list of shit I have to do.
- When going to a rave, expect a high volume of douchery and drunk bitches.
Speaking of rave, I saw rusko this weekend thanks to my awesome boyfriend...
If you have never heard his shit, here's two songs to start...
I've bee listening to these a lot
- I can't speak for everyone, just the majority.. which means 9 times out of 10 I'm right.. so just follow what I say and no one gets hurt...
- Don't be afraid to dance, it's just dancing.. not brain surgery...
-If the person you are crushing on is the main reason you have panic attacks then you should probably move on... shits like a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up in your face...
- I don't mind acting like I'm wrong (even though I'm totally right) if it means I'll avoid a stupid argument.
- If we have to avoid a certain topic because it will automatically dampen a good conversation then something needs to be re-adjusted.
- If all of your friends think what you are doing is definitely the wrong thing, then chances are it is..
- Every girl feels envy, jealousy and has insecurities. Some feel these emotions more than others. To better ease these demons, you can always re-assure your chick buy complimenting or comparing their great qualities to those that have shitty ones.
- Mega turn on: When a dude is about to orgasm and must notify a girl but uses something completely different then your average "I'mmmm cummmminggggg"
- Mega turn off: When a dude is about to orgasm and must notify you by doing something really fucked up like smacking you in the face or saying something really ridiculous like "BAAATTT MANNNNN"
P.S... no high-fiving after sex... that doesn't happen unless you are friends with benefits or a douche bag.
THINGS THAT SCARE ME
(In no particular order)
1. Rolling on my cat in the middle of the night and suffocating him.
2. My dad dying.
3. Shitting in my pants as a result of something really terrifying.
4. My pets dying
5. Never getting rid of the "I'm never going to be good enough" feeling.
6. Throwing up on someone.
7. Giving birth.
8. Anal sex
9. Being dependent on someone else.
10. Open closet doors at night.
11. Pool drains.
12. Laying under cars.
13. Falling in love with someone who's going to cheat on me.
14. Shaving near my Achilles tendon.
15. Eating upside down.
16. Public bathrooms.
17. Walking on seaweed.
18. Sting rays.
19. Any abnormally large sized insect.
20. People running behind me while I am running.
21. Low battery on my phone anytime I'm going to be alone.
22. Getting a dudes penis stuck in his zipper as I'm unzipping his pants.
- It is not humanly impossible to run out of advice for one person. I thought that it was, but it's not.
- Monday would probably be the wrong day to tell me something really fucked up or stupid.
- I think friendships are just like any other relationships and if you are lacking in communication then you have a huge problem.
- I don't like my friends to date douche bags, just like I don't like mushrooms or those weird seed things you find in pizza (what ever the fuck they are) you can't mask that shit with good taste or looks... either way its still mushrooms and weird pizza seeds.
- John Travolta? Gay. I called that.
- If you're the type of person that gets razor burn easily.. crush up some low dose aspirin and mix with lotion and apply to your inflamed areas. Inflammation goes away. magic bitches.
- Trying to explain to someone how bad of an idea something else is when they believe it isn't full heartedly is like trying to explain to an infant how bad soda is when all they do is drink it. Do you know how hard that is?
- Anticipation is such a turn on.
-Sometimes I wish my superhero power was to punch someone in the face using my mental powers. They wouldn't know it was me, they would just feel the wrath of my invisible punch to the face...
- Unfortunately my superhero power is the power to suck.
- It takes a lot for someone to personally get on my bad side but one surefire way to get there is if you fuck one of my friends over... I have no problem publicly embarrassing you.
- You have major skills if you can shave your vagina in the dark.
- Why do Japanese people always look scared to death in porn?
- If a dude hasn't brought up moving in together its probably a good idea to never bring it up period.
- I will never understand the concept of posting how pathetic you feel or look on the Internet. Shits not attractive. Plus, who ever feels better when someones like "Awww... don't worry" NO ONE. dudes/girls don't like that shit.. they need someone who's got their shit together... not falling apart at the seams
- zooey deschanel isn't fucking real, so stop trying to be like her.
Emma Stone however...
- Don't buy the same pair of sunglasses every time. They are an accessory, not a necessity and when you are accessorizing you need variety
- Every girl want to be the best you've ever had. Vocalize that...
- The key to great sex is all in the prep work. Just like painting a car. You wont get a decent paint job if you slack on the prep.
- If you know for a FACT that someone is being unfaithful then it would be a sin NOT to say anything
- I think some people should have a cut off time to relay information. Some people take too long to tell stories and that shits annoying.
- When people say I have a head ache I always assume they mean "migraine" because I suffer from migraines... and to think of anything more dulling then that would make me think you're a giant pussy and I'd rather think you are more manly than that.
This song is... pretty fucking bad ass...
- "The reason our relationship works is because Its not about what I want... its about what they want. Theres no room for selfishness. You just accept things for what they are, and if they do the same, then It just works"
- I commend lesbians. Anyone that can put up with that much vagina in one sitting deserves a medal.
- Seriously though delete assholes off your facebook. It's time for a spring cleaning.
- My life is basically all clumbsy awkward moments bunched up in daily routine.
- The reason he keeps coming back after he told you how worthless you are is because he enjoys that you keep taking him back after hes made you feel like you are nothing.
- Dude, she likes you because you have the same music interests.... period.... that means outside of your music tastes, you're a giant dragon dick.
- He's not even good looking, seriously get a hold of yourself.
- Peoples reasoning behind doing dumb shit like keeping a giant dragon dick around all depends on how good a person looks..
- You should stop drinking or doing drugs when you almost kill yourself or someone else in the process
- I hate how much taller I am than everyone else...
