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Monday, January 21, 2013

Hi kids.

So I went to Islands of adventure and Universal Studios this weekend with my Brother Matthew. I'm telling you this because most of my blog today will revolve around that trip. Because you wont believe the amount of morons that go to theme parks.

Maybe it's because I live in Florida, so I've been to these parks more often than once. Regardless here is a post if you are pondering about going to any theme park. 

- Just as you are on a busy highway, slow traffic to the right... faster to the left... and no stopping in the middle of the road. Theme parks work in the same way. People are just as terrible walkers, as they are drivers. Unaware of anything and everything that surrounds them except a map, and their phone. Which seem to be very important these days, so much more important than seeing where you are actually going.

- There's a thing called "personal space" Brazilians and Italians [legit Italians] do not understand this concept. Personal space is someones space that wraps around them, and makes them feel safe. Its and invisible wall that you cannot cross as common courtesy. If I can feel your breath on my neck.. you are officially invading my personal space and that kind of makes me feel uncomfortable being that we don't actually know each other. Personal space is different for everyone, but everyone has one. Usually, you can bet its at least a foot away from the person in front of you.

- If your kids arent tall enough to ride the ride, then you shouldnt bring them. sorry.

- If you have to use one of those motor wheel chairs, you shouldn't be at a theme park.

- If you don't like roller coasters, don't go to a fucking theme park... what is wrong with you? thats the whole point.

- The better days to go to a theme park, believe it or not, aren't on the fucking weekends.

- You have issues if you have to post about how many people like you. No one gives a shit.

- Being interested in "Long term dating" or "Short term dating" is a nicer way of saying you're interested in "Long term fucking" or "short term fucking"

- I am all for religion. I think its nice for people to have morals. I'm not really for people talking about it 24/7. True, if I don't like it.. I don't have to read it.. but then that means you can't call me names because I don't listen. I find clarity in knowing you are wrong... in everything, usually.

- If there is something you want to do, then do it. Make 2013 about achieving your goals.


- I'll be the first one to say im not jealous of you are your 4 kids from 4 different dudes. Maybe thats what you tell yourself at night so you can sleep better. I hope its not working.

- When it comes down to it, you either do what is right or what is easy. What you chose to do defines you. You can try and hide it all you want but eventually, people will find out.

- The TV show "Catfish" is my one and ONLY guilty pleasure on MTV.

- Leggings should not be worn as a main bottom for anyone. period, unless you are working out, doing yoga/pilates or sleeping in them. You DO NOT wear them in public. Go to the store and pick out a real pair of pants.

- If a doctor says you are over weight [this literally means everyone, including myself] then you should burn all the leggings you own unless you are wearing them under another clothing items. And shirts do not count as the first clothing item.

- The saying "What you put out eventually comes back to you" is 100% true.

- There is a fine line between "artistic nudes" and "straight up nude pictures" If you are taking "artistic nudes" with your iphone... this is not in fact "artistic nude photos" those are just regular nudes. Just an FYI.

- fuck you kesha.

"Burning in the firepit of dicks"

Burning in the firepit of dicks
 "Tells jokes"

That means its either "rob williams or the KFC guy"

Ninja turtle... made a dead shit.

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